For someone guilty of occupying the bathroom for hours

Bathroom Occupancy Order

For the household member who treats a shared facility as a private study. Choose 3 charges from 9, or write your own.

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The notice and the serving script, delivered instantly. Print it, or send the link.
Office of Bathroom Occupancy
Notice of Warning
In the matter of Occupancy of a Shared Bathroom
File BAT-5202Issued SEPTEMBER 18, 2026Served under youvebeenserved.shop
OffenseOccupying the bathroom for hoursSeverityStep 1 of 3 · Notice of Warning
In the matter of
Marcus
Respondent · hereinafter “the Occupant”
v.
Upon complaint of
Sarah
Complainant · a member of the household

You are hereby notified that the above-named Respondent has been found, upon evidence gathered over a period of considerable patience, to be in breach of the following provisions:

Provisions breached
  1. § 12.4a
    Excessive scrolling. Operating a handheld device upon the fixture beyond all reasonable need.
  2. § 12.4b
    Reckless endangerment of the vascular system. Remaining seated past the point at which circulation can be assured. Hemorrhoids are foreseeable and will not be treated as an accident.
  3. § 12.4c
    Neglect of household duties. Abandonment of dishes, trash cans, children or guests while the household was led to believe the matter was urgent.

It is therefore ordered that the Respondent vacate the fixture within ten (10) minutes of each and every seating, effective immediately. You are advised that continued conduct of this nature will be escalated.

Compliance will be monitored. There is no appeals process, and there is no one to appeal to.

Response required

The Respondent is required to answer. Detach the stub below and scan the code. Your answer is recorded and forwarded to the complainant.

Signed, the complainant
Sarah
Witness to service
print name
This notice is a gift and carries no legal force whatsoever. It is, however, extremely accurate. Not medical advice, but do get up.
detach and keep
Redemption stub · file BAT-5202
Marcus
Scan to answer

You are required to respond. Choose one:

No camera? Go to youvebeenserved.shop

VOID00
Also included · the serving script

The words to say while you hand it over.

“Wait until they are out of the bathroom. Serving someone through a door is not valid service and is, frankly, rude.”

  • The script to read while serving them, in order
  • Stage directions, where to stand, when to pause
  • Best performed to an audience. Film it.

They are probably guilty of something else too

§ 12.1Never replacing the toilet rollReplenishment Order§ 7.6Loading the dishwasher wrongLoading Standards Notice§ 12.9Leaving the seat upToilet Seat Position Order§ 16.5Watching a whole season in one sittingContinuous Viewing Order

Also called bathroom · toilet · shower · hogging · phone · selfish