Call Location Order

For the one whose colleagues have all heard a flush mid-sentence. Choose 5 charges from 9, or write your own.

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Call Location Order · two documents · 5 charges you choose + the serving script
Office of Bathroom Occupancy
Final Notice
In the matter of Conduct of Correspondence from a Facility
File BAT-6544Issued AUGUST 23, 2026Served under youvebeenserved.shop
OffenseTaking calls from the toiletSeverityStep 2 of 3 · Final Notice
In the matter of
Marcus
Respondent · hereinafter “the Occupant”
v.
Upon complaint of
Sarah
Complainant · a member of the household

You are hereby notified that the above-named Respondent has been found, upon evidence gathered over a period of considerable patience, to be in breach of the following provisions:

  1. § 12.3a
    Correspondence from a facility. Conducting a conversation from a room reserved for other business.
  2. § 12.3b
    The unmuted flush. Transmitting a sound that identifies the location beyond dispute.
  3. § 12.3c
    Acoustic amplification. Selecting the most reverberant room in the building for a call.
  4. § 12.3d
    Video escalation. Extending the practice to a call with a camera on it.
  5. § 12.3e
    Speakerphone deployment. Introducing a second party to a room they did not ask to enter.

It is therefore ordered that the Respondent leave the phone outside the door, effective immediately. This is a final notice. No further warnings will be issued. Compliance will be monitored. There is no appeals process, and there is no one to appeal to.

Response required

The Respondent is required to answer this notice. Detach the stub below and scan it; you may plead guilty, plead not guilty and appeal, or refuse to acknowledge the notice. Your answer is recorded and forwarded to the complainant.

Signed, the complainant
Sarah
Witness to service
print name
This notice is a gift and carries no legal force whatsoever. It is, however, extremely accurate.
detach and keep
Redemption stub · file BAT-6544
Marcus

Scan to respond. You may plead guilty, appeal, or refuse to acknowledge this notice. Your response is recorded and forwarded to the complainant.

https://www.youvebeenserved.shop
VOID00
Also included · the serving script

The words to say while you hand it over.

“Serve it when they emerge, still talking.”

  • The exact lines to read aloud, in order
  • Stage directions — where to stand, when to pause
  • Best performed to an audience. Film it.

They are probably guilty of something else too

§ 7.1Leaving the microwave explodedCommunal Appliance Order§ 18.1Chewing with your mouth openMastication Conduct Order§ 2.4Cracking knuckles constantlyPercussive Habit Notice§ 10.1Never paying back small amountsOutstanding Balance Notice