Undivided Attention Order

You are hereby notified that the above-named Respondent has been found, upon evidence gathered over a period of considerable patience, to be in breach of the following provisions:

1. § 37.2a
   Attendance without presence. Occupying a seat at an occasion while engaged elsewhere throughout it.
2. § 37.2b
   The face-up phone. Positioning the device so that every arrival lights the table.
3. § 37.2c
   Mid-sentence departure. Breaking eye contact to read a notification during another’s answer.
4. § 37.2d
   Photography precedence. Documenting the meal before either party has been permitted to eat.
5. § 37.2e
   The consulted opinion. Resolving a question at the table by asking a search engine instead of the person.

It is therefore ordered that the Respondent leave the phone face down and in a pocket for the duration, effective immediately. You are advised that continued conduct of this nature will be escalated. Compliance will be monitored. There is no appeals process, and there is no one to appeal to.