You’ve Been Served
You have mentioned it. Twice. Politely.

Somebody you love has a bad habit.

So stop mentioning it and put it in writing. We draw up the charges — custom to the habit, made out in their name — and you print it, serve it in person, and read the script we send with it. Then they scan the code and answer for themselves.

  • Half gag gift, half formal intervention
  • A laugh when you hand it over, a story they tell for years
  • Escalates if ignored: Warning, Final Notice, Eviction
Instant deliveryBuy now · serve them tonight
Office of Bathroom Occupancy

Notice of Eviction

In the matter of Occupancy of a Shared Bathroom
File BAT-5202Issued AUGUST 22, 2026Served under youvebeenserved.shop
In the matter of
Marcus
Respondent · hereinafter “the Occupant”
v.
Upon complaint of
Sarah
Complainant · a member of the household

You are hereby notified that the above-named Respondent has been found, upon evidence gathered over a period of considerable patience, to be in breach of the following provisions:

  1. § 12.4a
    Excessive scrolling. Operating a handheld device upon the fixture beyond all reasonable need.
  2. § 12.4b
    Reckless endangerment of the vascular system. Remaining seated past the point at which circulation can be assured. Hemorrhoids are foreseeable and will not be treated as an accident.
  3. § 12.4c
    Neglect of household duties. Abandonment of dishes, bins, children or guests while the household was led to believe the matter was urgent.
  4. § 12.4d
    Obstruction of a shared facility. Denial of access to others without notice, apology, or any credible estimate of return.
  5. § 12.4e
    Conduct unbecoming of a guest in one’s own bathroom. Treating a room built for one purpose as a reading room, an office, or a home.

It is therefore ordered that the Respondent vacate the fixture within ten (10) minutes of each and every seating, effective immediately. You are hereby evicted from the privilege described above, effective immediately. Compliance will be monitored. There is no appeals process, and there is no one to appeal to.

Response required

The Respondent is required to answer this notice. Detach the stub below and scan it; you may plead guilty, plead not guilty and appeal, or refuse to acknowledge the notice. Your answer is recorded and forwarded to the complainant.

OffenseOccupying the bathroom for hoursSeverityStep 3 of 3 · Notice of Eviction
Signed, the complainant
Sarah
Witness to service
print name
This notice is a gift and carries no legal force whatsoever. It is, however, extremely accurate. Not medical advice — but do get up.
detach and keep
Redemption stub · file BAT-5202
Marcus

Scan to respond. You may plead guilty, appeal, or refuse to acknowledge this notice. Your response is recorded and forwarded to the complainant.

https://www.youvebeenserved.shop
VOID00
Bathroom Eviction Notice · tap to read it in full
Great gift for:
ChristmasSecret SantaWhite elephantStocking fillersBirthdaysFather's DayMother's DayAnniversariesValentine's DayMoving in togetherNew roommatesHousewarmingsWeddingsBachelor partiesGraduationsRetirementsOffice partiesNew Year resolutionsApril Fools'ThanksgivingHanukkahDorm move-inGoing-away partiesJust becauseThe fourth time this week
What you get

File it. Serve it. Hear them plead.

Two documents arrive. What happens after you hand them over is the actual present.

01The filing

The notice

Office of Bathroom Occupancy

Notice of Eviction

In the matter of Occupancy of a Shared Bathroom
File BAT-5202Issued AUGUST 22, 2026Served under youvebeenserved.shop
In the matter of
Marcus
Respondent · hereinafter “the Occupant”
v.
Upon complaint of
Sarah
Complainant · a member of the household

You are hereby notified that the above-named Respondent has been found, upon evidence gathered over a period of considerable patience, to be in breach of the following provisions:

  1. § 12.4a
    Excessive scrolling. Operating a handheld device upon the fixture beyond all reasonable need.
  2. § 12.4b
    Reckless endangerment of the vascular system. Remaining seated past the point at which circulation can be assured. Hemorrhoids are foreseeable and will not be treated as an accident.
  3. § 12.4c
    Neglect of household duties. Abandonment of dishes, bins, children or guests while the household was led to believe the matter was urgent.
  4. § 12.4d
    Obstruction of a shared facility. Denial of access to others without notice, apology, or any credible estimate of return.
  5. § 12.4e
    Conduct unbecoming of a guest in one’s own bathroom. Treating a room built for one purpose as a reading room, an office, or a home.

It is therefore ordered that the Respondent vacate the fixture within ten (10) minutes of each and every seating, effective immediately. You are hereby evicted from the privilege described above, effective immediately. Compliance will be monitored. There is no appeals process, and there is no one to appeal to.

Response required

The Respondent is required to answer this notice. Detach the stub below and scan it; you may plead guilty, plead not guilty and appeal, or refuse to acknowledge the notice. Your answer is recorded and forwarded to the complainant.

OffenseOccupying the bathroom for hoursSeverityStep 3 of 3 · Notice of Eviction
Signed, the complainant
Sarah
Witness to service
print name
This notice is a gift and carries no legal force whatsoever. It is, however, extremely accurate. Not medical advice — but do get up.
detach and keep
Redemption stub · file BAT-5202
Marcus

Scan to respond. You may plead guilty, appeal, or refuse to acknowledge this notice. Your response is recorded and forwarded to the complainant.

https://www.youvebeenserved.shop
VOID00
  • Choose five charges, or write your own
  • Made out in their name, under seal
  • Print it, or serve a digital copy
02The service

The script

Office of Bathroom Occupancy

Instructions

for the service of notice
File BAT-5202To be read aloudDo not smile

Service must be performed in person. Read the marked passages exactly as written. Anything in italics is direction and should not be read aloud, however tempting.

Before you begin

Wait until they are out of the bathroom. Serving someone through a door is not valid service and is, frankly, rude.

Have a witness present if you can. It doubles the audience and gives you someone to sign the form.

Give the witness your phone and have them film it. The document is the gift; their face is the part you keep.

Hold the notice with both hands. Do not smile. The whole thing collapses if you smile.

The service

“MARCUS. Do I have your attention.”

“I am serving you with a Bathroom Eviction Notice, file number BAT-5202, issued this day under the Office of Bathroom Occupancy.”

“You have been found in breach of five provisions. I will read them.”

— read the charges from the notice, in order, without editorial —

The order

“It is therefore ordered that you comply, effective immediately.”

“A response is required. The code is on the stub.”

“Do you accept service?”

After they accept

Hand them the stub. Point at the code. Say nothing else — they will fill the silence themselves.

Sign the notice. Have your witness sign it. They keep it.

You may smile now.

Post the footage and tag @youvebeenserved. The best ones go on the wall, and whoever filmed it serves their next one on us.

Keep your copy. Hand over the stub. Say nothing else.
  • The exact words to say out loud
  • Best performed to an audience
  • Film it. You will want the footage.
03The arraignment

The plea

Guilty as chargedNot guilty — I appealI refuse to acknowledge this
  • They scan the stub and must answer
  • Refusing to acknowledge counts as acknowledging
  • However they plead, you get told
Try it as the recipient ▸
A colleague being served a notice at their desk while eight coworkers look on, laughing.
Exhibit AService of a § 26.4 notice upon a colleague, witnessed by eight members of staff. The Respondent did not appeal.
A father being handed an eviction notice in a living room by his wife, with two children laughing.
Exhibit BService of a § 12.4 notice at the family home, witnessed by three members of the household. The Respondent appealed immediately.
The catalog

Offenses we currently prosecute.

28 offenses · 252 charges on file

Pick the habit. Each one has its own notice, its own issuing office, and charges written for that offense and nobody else’s.

Not listed?

Tell us the habit. We’ll notify you once we’ve built out your official documents.

Filing fees

Cheaper than a conversation.

One notice, $14.99. Every one after that costs less, whoever it is for.

One Notice1 notice$14.99eachOne offense, one person, served once.13% offThe Household2–3 notices$12.99eachA partner and a roommate — or one person, twice.Most served26% offParty Pack4–7 notices$10.99eachServe the whole table. Nobody leaves clean.33% offThe Whole Office8+ notices$9.99eachSecret Santa, solved. One per desk.
  • Two custom documents — print and hand deliver, or serve a digital copy
  • Five charges you choose — or write one yourself
  • A response code — they must plead guilty, appeal, or refuse

Asking nicely has had its chance.

Serve someone · from $14.99