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Thermostat Interference Order · two documents · 5 charges you choose + the serving script
Climate Control Authority

Final Notice

In the matter of Unauthorized Climate Adjustment
File THE-6491Issued AUGUST 22, 2026Served under youvebeenserved.shop
In the matter of
Marcus
Respondent · hereinafter “the Occupant”
v.
Upon complaint of
Sarah
Complainant · a member of the household

You are hereby notified that the above-named Respondent has been found, upon evidence gathered over a period of considerable patience, to be in breach of the following provisions:

  1. § 4.6a
    Unauthorized adjustment. Altering an agreed setting without consultation, notice, or any subsequent admission.
  2. § 4.6b
    Overcorrection. Responding to a two-degree grievance with a nine-degree intervention.
  3. § 4.6c
    Denial of interference. Asserting that the device “must have reset itself”, a thing it has never once done.
  4. § 4.6d
    Window nullification. Operating heating and an open window concurrently, in defiance of physics and the bill.
  5. § 4.6e
    Refusal of the obvious remedy. Declining to wear additional clothing while describing the room as unliveable.

It is therefore ordered that the Respondent cease all adjustment and put on a jumper like everybody else, effective immediately. This is a final notice. No further warnings will be issued. Compliance will be monitored. There is no appeals process, and there is no one to appeal to.

Response required

The Respondent is required to answer this notice. Detach the stub below and scan it; you may plead guilty, plead not guilty and appeal, or refuse to acknowledge the notice. Your answer is recorded and forwarded to the complainant.

OffenseTouching the thermostatSeverityStep 2 of 3 · Final Notice
Signed, the complainant
Sarah
Witness to service
print name
This notice is a gift and carries no legal force whatsoever. It is, however, extremely accurate. Not medical advice — but do get up.
detach and keep
Redemption stub · file THE-6491
Marcus

Scan to respond. You may plead guilty, appeal, or refuse to acknowledge this notice. Your response is recorded and forwarded to the complainant.

https://www.youvebeenserved.shop
VOID00
Climate Control Authority

Instructions

for the service of notice
File THE-6491To be read aloudDo not smile

Service must be performed in person. Read the marked passages exactly as written. Anything in italics is direction and should not be read aloud, however tempting.

Before you begin

Serve it in the room in question, at whatever temperature they have chosen.

Have a witness present if you can. It doubles the audience and gives you someone to sign the form.

Give the witness your phone and have them film it. The document is the gift; their face is the part you keep.

Hold the notice with both hands. Do not smile. The whole thing collapses if you smile.

The service

“MARCUS. Do I have your attention.”

“I am serving you with a Thermostat Interference Order, file number THE-6491, issued this day under the Climate Control Authority.”

“You have been found in breach of five provisions. I will read them.”

— read the charges from the notice, in order, without editorial —

The order

“It is therefore ordered that you comply, effective immediately.”

“A response is required. The code is on the stub.”

“Do you accept service?”

After they accept

Hand them the stub. Point at the code. Say nothing else — they will fill the silence themselves.

Sign the notice. Have your witness sign it. They keep it.

You may smile now.

Post the footage and tag @youvebeenserved. The best ones go on the wall, and whoever filmed it serves their next one on us.

Keep your copy. Hand over the stub. Say nothing else.