Final Notice
In the matter of Failure to Replenish a Depleted Supply
OffenseNever replacing the toilet rollSeverityStep 2 of 3 · Final Notice
In the matter of
Marcus
Respondent · hereinafter “the Occupant”
v.
Upon complaint of
Sarah
Complainant · a member of the household
You are hereby notified that the above-named Respondent has been found, upon evidence gathered over a period of considerable patience, to be in breach of the following provisions:
- § 12.1aFailure to replenish. Exhausting the supply and leaving the holder empty.
- § 12.1bThe retained tube. Restoring the cardboard core to the holder as though it constituted provision.
- § 12.1cProximity disregard. Leaving a full replacement within arm’s reach and unfitted.
- § 12.1dThe balanced roll. Resting a new roll on top of the holder rather than engaging the mechanism.
- § 12.1eDiscovery delegation. Ensuring the shortage is found by somebody in no position to solve it.
It is therefore ordered that the Respondent replace the roll the moment you finish it, effective immediately. This is a final notice. No further warnings will be issued. Compliance will be monitored. There is no appeals process, and there is no one to appeal to.
This notice is a gift and carries no legal force whatsoever. It is, however, extremely accurate. Not a household budget — it is one pound.
detach and keep
Redemption stub · file TOI-9790
Marcus
Scan to respond. You may plead guilty, appeal, or refuse to acknowledge this notice. Your response is recorded and forwarded to the complainant.
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VOID00