For someone guilty of never replacing the toilet roll

Replenishment Order

For the one who uses the last of it and leaves the cardboard tube as a monument. Choose 3 charges from 9, or write your own.

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Office of Bathroom Occupancy
Notice of Warning
In the matter of Failure to Replenish a Depleted Supply
File TOI-9790Issued SEPTEMBER 18, 2026Served under youvebeenserved.shop
OffenseNever replacing the toilet rollSeverityStep 1 of 3 · Notice of Warning
In the matter of
Marcus
Respondent · hereinafter “the Occupant”
v.
Upon complaint of
Sarah
Complainant · a member of the household

You are hereby notified that the above-named Respondent has been found, upon evidence gathered over a period of considerable patience, to be in breach of the following provisions:

Provisions breached
  1. § 12.1a
    Failure to replenish. Exhausting the supply and leaving the holder empty.
  2. § 12.1b
    The retained tube. Restoring the cardboard core to the holder as though it constituted provision.
  3. § 12.1c
    Proximity disregard. Leaving a full replacement within arm’s reach and unfitted.

It is therefore ordered that the Respondent replace the roll the moment you finish it, effective immediately. You are advised that continued conduct of this nature will be escalated.

Compliance will be monitored. There is no appeals process, and there is no one to appeal to.

Response required

The Respondent is required to answer. Detach the stub below and scan the code. Your answer is recorded and forwarded to the complainant.

Signed, the complainant
Sarah
Witness to service
print name
This notice is a gift and carries no legal force whatsoever. It is, however, extremely accurate. Not a household budget. It is one dollar.
detach and keep
Redemption stub · file TOI-9790
Marcus
Scan to answer

You are required to respond. Choose one:

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VOID00
Also included · the serving script

The words to say while you hand it over.

“Serve it through the door, if necessary.”

  • The script to read while serving them, in order
  • Stage directions, where to stand, when to pause
  • Best performed to an audience. Film it.

They are probably guilty of something else too

§ 7.6Loading the dishwasher wrongLoading Standards Notice§ 16.5Watching a whole season in one sittingContinuous Viewing Order§ 23.3An alarm that wakes everyone but themAlarm Discipline Order§ 2.6Farting in front of everyoneAmbient Emission Notice

Also called toilet · paper · roll · bathroom