Loading Standards Notice

For the one whose loading technique has been described, accurately, as an attack. Choose 5 charges from 9, or write your own.

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Loading Standards Notice · two documents · 5 charges you choose + the serving script
Bureau of Kitchen Standards
Notice of Warning
In the matter of Non-Conforming Placement of Items
File DIS-8146Issued AUGUST 23, 2026Served under youvebeenserved.shop
OffenseLoading the dishwasher wrongSeverityStep 1 of 3 · Notice of Warning
In the matter of
Marcus
Respondent · hereinafter “the Occupant”
v.
Upon complaint of
Sarah
Complainant · a member of the household

You are hereby notified that the above-named Respondent has been found, upon evidence gathered over a period of considerable patience, to be in breach of the following provisions:

  1. § 7.6a
    Non-conforming placement. Arranging items in a manner preventing their being cleaned.
  2. § 7.6b
    The face-up bowl. Positioning a vessel to collect water rather than release it.
  3. § 7.6c
    Capacity waste. Achieving a full cycle with a load that could have been half of one.
  4. § 7.6d
    Pre-rinse absolutism. Washing items thoroughly before entrusting them to a washing machine.
  5. § 7.6e
    Blade orientation. Placing knives point-upward in a basket somebody will reach into.

It is therefore ordered that the Respondent load it the way it was agreed, or accept the loading of others without comment, effective immediately. You are advised that continued conduct of this nature will be escalated. Compliance will be monitored. There is no appeals process, and there is no one to appeal to.

Response required

The Respondent is required to answer this notice. Detach the stub below and scan it; you may plead guilty, plead not guilty and appeal, or refuse to acknowledge the notice. Your answer is recorded and forwarded to the complainant.

Signed, the complainant
Sarah
Witness to service
print name
This notice is a gift and carries no legal force whatsoever. It is, however, extremely accurate.
detach and keep
Redemption stub · file DIS-8146
Marcus

Scan to respond. You may plead guilty, appeal, or refuse to acknowledge this notice. Your response is recorded and forwarded to the complainant.

https://www.youvebeenserved.shop
VOID00
Also included · the serving script

The words to say while you hand it over.

“Serve it with the door open and the evidence visible.”

  • The exact lines to read aloud, in order
  • Stage directions — where to stand, when to pause
  • Best performed to an audience. Film it.

They are probably guilty of something else too

§ 12.1Never replacing the toilet rollReplenishment Order§ 4.2Every light in the house onIllumination Discipline Notice§ 23.3An alarm that wakes everyone but themAlarm Discipline Order§ 12.2Flooding the bathroom floorContainment Order