You’ve Been Served
Secret Santa

The Secret Santa gift they will actually talk about.

Under budget, over the line, and specific enough that everyone knows exactly who drew whose name.

  • Two custom documents — print and hand deliver, or serve a digital copy
  • Five charges you choose — or write one yourself
  • A response code — they must plead guilty, appeal, or refuse
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Office of Workplace Conduct

Final Notice

In the matter of Reheating of Odorous Food in a Shared Space
File DES-2341Issued AUGUST 22, 2026Served under youvebeenserved.shop
In the matter of
Marcus
Respondent · hereinafter “the Occupant”
v.
Upon complaint of
Sarah
Complainant · a member of the household

You are hereby notified that the above-named Respondent has been found, upon evidence gathered over a period of considerable patience, to be in breach of the following provisions:

  1. § 26.4a
    Emission in a shared space. Release of an odor into an office from which no party may escape before five.
  2. § 26.4b
    Persistence beyond the meal. Maintenance of a detectable presence for four hours after consumption had ended.
  3. § 26.4c
    Use of shared equipment. Operation of a communal appliance in a manner requiring its immediate retirement.
  4. § 26.4d
    Disregard of prior agreement. Breach of an understanding reached in writing, at a meeting the Respondent attended.
  5. § 26.4e
    Denial of detection. Assertion that the Respondent cannot smell anything. This is not a defense; it is a symptom.

It is therefore ordered that the Respondent eat it outside, as everyone agreed, effective immediately. This is a final notice. No further warnings will be issued. Compliance will be monitored. There is no appeals process, and there is no one to appeal to.

Response required

The Respondent is required to answer this notice. Detach the stub below and scan it; you may plead guilty, plead not guilty and appeal, or refuse to acknowledge the notice. Your answer is recorded and forwarded to the complainant.

OffenseReheating fish at the deskSeverityStep 2 of 3 · Final Notice
Signed, the complainant
Sarah
Witness to service
print name
This notice is a gift and carries no legal force whatsoever. It is, however, extremely accurate. Not medical advice — but do get up.
detach and keep
Redemption stub · file DES-2341
Marcus

Scan to respond. You may plead guilty, appeal, or refuse to acknowledge this notice. Your response is recorded and forwarded to the complainant.

https://www.youvebeenserved.shop
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Workplace Odor Notice · one of 9 for this
Best for this

Pick what they are guilty of.

§ 26.4Reheating fish at the deskIssues: Workplace Odor NoticeFor the colleague whose lunch is still in the air at four o’clock.Choose 5Serve ▸§ 26.7Taking food from the office fridgeIssues: Communal Refrigerator OrderFor the one who ate a labeled sandwich and said nothing.Choose 5Serve ▸§ 21.7Replying allIssues: Reply-All Restraining OrderFor the colleague who thanked forty people individually, all at once.Choose 5Serve ▸§ 26.1Booking meetings that could be emailsIssues: Unnecessary Meeting NoticeFor the one who gathers nine people to read a document aloud.Choose 5Serve ▸§ 31.4Overrunning every meetingIssues: Meeting Overrun OrderFor the one who says “just one more thing” at the fifty-ninth minute.Choose 5Serve ▸§ 31.2Being late to everythingIssues: Chronic Lateness WarningFor the friend whose “leaving now” has never once meant leaving now.Choose 5Serve ▸§ 5.3Borrowing and not returningIssues: Unreturned Property DemandFor the one who has your charger, your book, and no memory of either.Choose 5Serve ▸§ 27.1Parking across two spacesIssues: Parking Conduct CitationFor the one whose car needs the room and whose neighbors need it more.Choose 5Serve ▸§ 24.2Speakerphone in an open officeIssues: Ambient Noise CitationFor the one whose every call is a performance for forty people.Choose 5Serve ▸

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