Station Occupation Notice

For the one who has been sitting on the leg press for eleven minutes, on their phone. Choose 5 charges from 9, or write your own.

Back to the catalog
Station Occupation Notice · two documents · 5 charges you choose + the serving script
Bureau of Recreation and Athletics
Notice of Warning
In the matter of Occupation Without Use
File MAC-9352Issued AUGUST 23, 2026Served under youvebeenserved.shop
In the matter of
Marcus
Respondent · hereinafter “the Occupant”
v.
Upon complaint of
Sarah
Complainant · a member of the household

You are hereby notified that the above-named Respondent has been found, upon evidence gathered over a period of considerable patience, to be in breach of the following provisions:

  1. § 28.2a
    Occupation without use. Remaining on a station for a period containing no exercise.
  2. § 28.2b
    Rest extension. Converting a ninety-second interval into a quarter of an hour.
  3. § 28.2c
    Correspondence during. Conducting messaging from a seat somebody is waiting for.
  4. § 28.2d
    The refused set. Declining a polite request to work in, without reason.
  5. § 28.2e
    Multi-station reservation. Holding two or three stations simultaneously with belongings.

It is therefore ordered that the Respondent rest away from the machine and let somebody else work in, effective immediately. You are advised that continued conduct of this nature will be escalated. Compliance will be monitored. There is no appeals process, and there is no one to appeal to.

Response required

The Respondent is required to answer this notice. Detach the stub below and scan it; you may plead guilty, plead not guilty and appeal, or refuse to acknowledge the notice. Your answer is recorded and forwarded to the complainant.

OffenseSitting on a machine scrollingSeverityStep 1 of 3 · Notice of Warning
Signed, the complainant
Sarah
Witness to service
print name
This notice is a gift and carries no legal force whatsoever. It is, however, extremely accurate. Not medical advice — but do get up.
detach and keep
Redemption stub · file MAC-9352
Marcus

Scan to respond. You may plead guilty, appeal, or refuse to acknowledge this notice. Your response is recorded and forwarded to the complainant.

https://www.youvebeenserved.shop
VOID00
Also included · the serving script

The words to say while you hand it over.

“Serve it during the rest period, which is ongoing.”

  • The exact lines to read aloud, in order
  • Stage directions — where to stand, when to pause
  • Best performed to an audience. Film it.

They are probably guilty of something else too

§ 15.5FaceTiming on speaker in publicPublic Video Call Order§ 15.1Jumping the queueQueue Integrity Order§ 15.2Stopping dead at the topEscalator Egress Notice§ 15.3Spreading across two seatsSeat Occupation Order