Minimum Reply Order

For the one whose answer to a paragraph is “K”. Choose 5 charges from 9, or write your own.

Back to the catalog
Minimum Reply Order · two documents · 5 charges you choose + the serving script
Office of Digital Correspondence
Notice of Warning
In the matter of Provision of Insufficient Response
File ONE-8108Issued AUGUST 23, 2026Served under youvebeenserved.shop
In the matter of
Marcus
Respondent · hereinafter “the Occupant”
v.
Upon complaint of
Sarah
Complainant · a member of the household

You are hereby notified that the above-named Respondent has been found, upon evidence gathered over a period of considerable patience, to be in breach of the following provisions:

  1. § 21.1a
    Insufficient response. Answering a considered message with a single character.
  2. § 21.1b
    The terminal K. Deploying a reply universally understood to close a conversation coldly.
  3. § 21.1c
    Proportional disregard. Producing four letters in response to four paragraphs.
  4. § 21.1d
    The full stop. Appending punctuation that converts a neutral word into a hostile one.
  5. § 21.1e
    Thumbs-up substitution. Reacting to a question with an emoji that answers none of it.

It is therefore ordered that the Respondent reply in proportion to what you were sent, effective immediately. You are advised that continued conduct of this nature will be escalated. Compliance will be monitored. There is no appeals process, and there is no one to appeal to.

Response required

The Respondent is required to answer this notice. Detach the stub below and scan it; you may plead guilty, plead not guilty and appeal, or refuse to acknowledge the notice. Your answer is recorded and forwarded to the complainant.

OffenseOne-word repliesSeverityStep 1 of 3 · Notice of Warning
Signed, the complainant
Sarah
Witness to service
print name
This notice is a gift and carries no legal force whatsoever. It is, however, extremely accurate. Not medical advice — but do get up.
detach and keep
Redemption stub · file ONE-8108
Marcus

Scan to respond. You may plead guilty, appeal, or refuse to acknowledge this notice. Your response is recorded and forwarded to the complainant.

https://www.youvebeenserved.shop
VOID00
Also included · the serving script

The words to say while you hand it over.

“Serve it in reply to their reply. One word will do.”

  • The exact lines to read aloud, in order
  • Stage directions — where to stand, when to pause
  • Best performed to an audience. Film it.

They are probably guilty of something else too

§ 31.2Being late to everythingChronic Lateness Warning§ 18.1Chewing with your mouth openMastication Conduct Order§ 14.1Interrupting constantlyInterruption Cease and Desist§ 21.2Leaving messages on readRead Receipt Citation