Nocturnal Correspondence Injunction

You are hereby notified that the above-named Respondent has been found, upon evidence gathered over a period of considerable patience, to be in breach of the following provisions:

1. § 35.3a
   Transmission at an unsuitable hour. Sending correspondence at a time reserved by all parties for sleep.
2. § 35.3b
   Volume of despatch. Producing eleven messages where one would have been eleven too many.
3. § 35.3c
   Emotional escalation. Reaching, unprompted, a level of sentiment unavailable during daylight.
4. § 35.3d
   The voice note. Escalating from text to four minutes of audio recorded in a taxi.
5. § 35.3e
   Orthographic collapse. Transmitting material requiring interpretation rather than reading.

It is therefore ordered that the Respondent surrender the phone to a responsible party before the evening begins, effective immediately. You are advised that continued conduct of this nature will be escalated. Compliance will be monitored. There is no appeals process, and there is no one to appeal to.