Contact Method Order

For the one who sends “call me” and then does not pick up, for two days. Choose 5 charges from 9, or write your own.

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Contact Method Order · two documents · 5 charges you choose + the serving script
Office of Digital Correspondence
Notice of Warning
In the matter of Solicitation of a Call Without Availability
File CAL-1247Issued AUGUST 23, 2026Served under youvebeenserved.shop
OffenseTexting “call me” and never answeringSeverityStep 1 of 3 · Notice of Warning
In the matter of
Marcus
Respondent · hereinafter “the Occupant”
v.
Upon complaint of
Sarah
Complainant · a member of the household

You are hereby notified that the above-named Respondent has been found, upon evidence gathered over a period of considerable patience, to be in breach of the following provisions:

  1. § 21.6a
    Solicitation without availability. Requesting a call and then being uncontactable.
  2. § 21.6b
    Content withholding. Declining to indicate the subject, so the recipient must assume the worst.
  3. § 21.6c
    The missed callback. Failing to answer a call placed within a minute of your request.
  4. § 21.6d
    Asymmetric urgency. Requiring immediate contact while replying to nothing for a day.
  5. § 21.6e
    Voicemail non-retrieval. Maintaining a full mailbox that cannot receive the message.

It is therefore ordered that the Respondent say what it is about, or be available when they ring, effective immediately. You are advised that continued conduct of this nature will be escalated. Compliance will be monitored. There is no appeals process, and there is no one to appeal to.

Response required

The Respondent is required to answer this notice. Detach the stub below and scan it; you may plead guilty, plead not guilty and appeal, or refuse to acknowledge the notice. Your answer is recorded and forwarded to the complainant.

Signed, the complainant
Sarah
Witness to service
print name
This notice is a gift and carries no legal force whatsoever. It is, however, extremely accurate.
detach and keep
Redemption stub · file CAL-1247
Marcus

Scan to respond. You may plead guilty, appeal, or refuse to acknowledge this notice. Your response is recorded and forwarded to the complainant.

https://www.youvebeenserved.shop
VOID00
Also included · the serving script

The words to say while you hand it over.

“Serve it after the third unanswered callback.”

  • The exact lines to read aloud, in order
  • Stage directions — where to stand, when to pause
  • Best performed to an audience. Film it.

They are probably guilty of something else too

§ 31.2Being late to everythingChronic Lateness Warning§ 18.1Chewing with your mouth openMastication Conduct Order§ 14.1Interrupting constantlyInterruption Cease and Desist§ 21.1One-word repliesMinimum Reply Order