For someone guilty of borrowing and not returning

Unreturned Property Demand

For the one who has your charger, your book, and no memory of either. Choose 3 charges from 9, or write your own.

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The notice and the serving script, delivered instantly. Print it, or send the link.
Office of Lost Property
Notice of Warning
In the matter of Retention of Property Belonging to Another
File BOR-3737Issued SEPTEMBER 18, 2026Served under youvebeenserved.shop
OffenseBorrowing and not returningSeverityStep 1 of 3 · Notice of Warning
In the matter of
Marcus
Respondent · hereinafter “the Occupant”
v.
Upon complaint of
Sarah
Complainant · a member of the household

You are hereby notified that the above-named Respondent has been found, upon evidence gathered over a period of considerable patience, to be in breach of the following provisions:

Provisions breached
  1. § 5.3a
    Indefinite retention. Possession of borrowed property well beyond any period a reasonable person would call borrowing.
  2. § 5.3b
    Failure of acknowledgment. Denial that the item was ever borrowed, made in the presence of the item.
  3. § 5.3c
    Conversion by relocation. Removal of the property into storage of the Respondent’s own arrangement and naming.

It is therefore ordered that the Respondent return all held property in its original condition, or something near it, effective immediately. You are advised that continued conduct of this nature will be escalated.

Compliance will be monitored. There is no appeals process, and there is no one to appeal to.

Response required

The Respondent is required to answer. Detach the stub below and scan the code. Your answer is recorded and forwarded to the complainant.

Signed, the complainant
Sarah
Witness to service
print name
This notice is a gift and carries no legal force whatsoever. It is, however, extremely accurate.
detach and keep
Redemption stub · file BOR-3737
Marcus
Scan to answer

You are required to respond. Choose one:

No camera? Go to youvebeenserved.shop

VOID00
Also included · the serving script

The words to say while you hand it over.

“Serve in the doorway. Do not sit down. This is a collection, not a visit.”

  • The script to read while serving them, in order
  • Stage directions, where to stand, when to pause
  • Best performed to an audience. Film it.

They are probably guilty of something else too

§ 18.1Chewing with your mouth openMastication Conduct Order§ 37.2On their phone all the timeUndivided Attention Order§ 2.7Not washing their handsHand Hygiene Order§ 2.4Cracking knuckles constantlyPercussive Habit Notice

Also called borrowing · lending · stuff · returning · things