For someone guilty of not washing their hands

Hand Hygiene Order

For the colleague you once followed out of the bathroom, and have thought about ever since. Choose 3 charges from 9, or write your own.

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Bureau of Personal Hygiene
Notice of Warning
In the matter of Departure Without Washing
File HAN-5176Issued SEPTEMBER 18, 2026Served under youvebeenserved.shop
OffenseNot washing their handsSeverityStep 1 of 3 · Notice of Warning
In the matter of
Marcus
Respondent · hereinafter “the Occupant”
v.
Upon complaint of
Sarah
Complainant · a member of the household

You are hereby notified that the above-named Respondent has been found, upon evidence gathered over a period of considerable patience, to be in breach of the following provisions:

Provisions breached
  1. § 2.7a
    Departure without washing. Leaving a facility having touched nothing but the door handle.
  2. § 2.7b
    The token rinse. Passing both hands under cold water for a period under two seconds.
  3. § 2.7c
    Soap avoidance. Completing the ritual without engaging the dispenser provided.

It is therefore ordered that the Respondent wash them, with soap, for the length of the sign on the wall, effective immediately. You are advised that continued conduct of this nature will be escalated.

Compliance will be monitored. There is no appeals process, and there is no one to appeal to.

Response required

The Respondent is required to answer. Detach the stub below and scan the code. Your answer is recorded and forwarded to the complainant.

Signed, the complainant
Sarah
Witness to service
print name
This notice is a gift and carries no legal force whatsoever. It is, however, extremely accurate.
detach and keep
Redemption stub · file HAN-5176
Marcus
Scan to answer

You are required to respond. Choose one:

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VOID00
Also included · the serving script

The words to say while you hand it over.

“Serve it at the sink. Hand it over with one hand.”

  • The script to read while serving them, in order
  • Stage directions, where to stand, when to pause
  • Best performed to an audience. Film it.

They are probably guilty of something else too

§ 18.1Chewing with your mouth openMastication Conduct Order§ 37.2On their phone all the timeUndivided Attention Order§ 2.6Farting in front of everyoneAmbient Emission Notice§ 2.10Sniffing instead of using a tissueTissue Deployment Notice

Also called handwashing · hands · hygiene · gross · germs · bathroom · toilet