For someone guilty of sniffing instead of using a tissue

Tissue Deployment Notice

For the one who has sniffed every forty seconds since November. Choose 3 charges from 9, or write your own.

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The notice and the serving script, delivered instantly. Print it, or send the link.
Bureau of Personal Hygiene
Notice of Warning
In the matter of Repeated Inhalation in Lieu of a Tissue
File SNI-4504Issued SEPTEMBER 18, 2026Served under youvebeenserved.shop
OffenseSniffing instead of using a tissueSeverityStep 1 of 3 · Notice of Warning
In the matter of
Marcus
Respondent · hereinafter “the Occupant”
v.
Upon complaint of
Sarah
Complainant · a member of the household

You are hereby notified that the above-named Respondent has been found, upon evidence gathered over a period of considerable patience, to be in breach of the following provisions:

Provisions breached
  1. § 2.10a
    Repeated inhalation. Producing the sound at intervals regular enough to be timed.
  2. § 2.10b
    Tissue proximity. Maintaining a box within reach and declining to reach for it.
  3. § 2.10c
    The quiet room. Selecting the library, the meeting or the movie theater.

It is therefore ordered that the Respondent use a tissue, once, and resolve the matter, effective immediately. You are advised that continued conduct of this nature will be escalated.

Compliance will be monitored. There is no appeals process, and there is no one to appeal to.

Response required

The Respondent is required to answer. Detach the stub below and scan the code. Your answer is recorded and forwarded to the complainant.

Signed, the complainant
Sarah
Witness to service
print name
This notice is a gift and carries no legal force whatsoever. It is, however, extremely accurate.
detach and keep
Redemption stub · file SNI-4504
Marcus
Scan to answer

You are required to respond. Choose one:

No camera? Go to youvebeenserved.shop

VOID00
Also included · the serving script

The words to say while you hand it over.

“Serve it between sniffs. You will have a window of about forty seconds.”

  • The script to read while serving them, in order
  • Stage directions, where to stand, when to pause
  • Best performed to an audience. Film it.

They are probably guilty of something else too

§ 12.1Never replacing the toilet rollReplenishment Order§ 7.6Loading the dishwasher wrongLoading Standards Notice§ 16.5Watching a whole season in one sittingContinuous Viewing Order§ 18.1Chewing with your mouth openMastication Conduct Order

Also called sniffing · sniff · cold · tissue · gross · noisy · annoying