Notice of Warning
In the matter of Repeated Inhalation in Lieu of a Tissue
OffenseSniffing instead of using a tissueSeverityStep 1 of 3 · Notice of Warning
In the matter of
Marcus
Respondent · hereinafter “the Occupant”
v.
Upon complaint of
Sarah
Complainant · a member of the household
You are hereby notified that the above-named Respondent has been found, upon evidence gathered over a period of considerable patience, to be in breach of the following provisions:
- § 2.10aRepeated inhalation. Producing the sound at intervals regular enough to be timed.
- § 2.10bTissue proximity. Maintaining a box within reach and declining to reach for it.
- § 2.10cThe quiet room. Selecting the library, the meeting or the cinema.
- § 2.10dEscalation of depth. Increasing the intensity as the condition progresses across the week.
- § 2.10eSleeve substitution. Resolving the matter against a garment you will wear tomorrow.
It is therefore ordered that the Respondent use a tissue, once, and resolve the matter, effective immediately. You are advised that continued conduct of this nature will be escalated. Compliance will be monitored. There is no appeals process, and there is no one to appeal to.
This notice is a gift and carries no legal force whatsoever. It is, however, extremely accurate.
detach and keep
Redemption stub · file SNI-4504
Marcus
Scan to respond. You may plead guilty, appeal, or refuse to acknowledge this notice. Your response is recorded and forwarded to the complainant.
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