Headphone Enforcement Order

For the one who watches nine-second videos on speaker, on a train, at volume. Choose 5 charges from 9, or write your own.

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Headphone Enforcement Order · two documents · 5 charges you choose + the serving script
Office of Devices and Connectivity
Final Notice
In the matter of Public Broadcast of Private Content
File NOH-8018Issued AUGUST 23, 2026Served under youvebeenserved.shop
In the matter of
Marcus
Respondent · hereinafter “the Occupant”
v.
Upon complaint of
Sarah
Complainant · a member of the household

You are hereby notified that the above-named Respondent has been found, upon evidence gathered over a period of considerable patience, to be in breach of the following provisions:

  1. § 13.2a
    Public broadcast. Playing audio aloud in a space shared with people who did not choose it.
  2. § 13.2b
    The nine-second loop. Subjecting a carriage to short-form content in continuous succession.
  3. § 13.2c
    Volume escalation. Raising the level to overcome ambient noise you are contributing to.
  4. § 13.2d
    Owned headphones, unused. Carrying headphones and declining, on each occasion, to use them.
  5. § 13.2e
    The autoplay chain. Permitting a sequence to continue unsupervised into unrelated material.

It is therefore ordered that the Respondent wear headphones in every space containing another person, effective immediately. This is a final notice. No further warnings will be issued. Compliance will be monitored. There is no appeals process, and there is no one to appeal to.

Response required

The Respondent is required to answer this notice. Detach the stub below and scan it; you may plead guilty, plead not guilty and appeal, or refuse to acknowledge the notice. Your answer is recorded and forwarded to the complainant.

OffenseWatching videos without headphonesSeverityStep 2 of 3 · Final Notice
Signed, the complainant
Sarah
Witness to service
print name
This notice is a gift and carries no legal force whatsoever. It is, however, extremely accurate. Not medical advice — but do get up.
detach and keep
Redemption stub · file NOH-8018
Marcus

Scan to respond. You may plead guilty, appeal, or refuse to acknowledge this notice. Your response is recorded and forwarded to the complainant.

https://www.youvebeenserved.shop
VOID00
Also included · the serving script

The words to say while you hand it over.

“Serve it during the video. Do not wait for the end. There is no end.”

  • The exact lines to read aloud, in order
  • Stage directions — where to stand, when to pause
  • Best performed to an audience. Film it.

They are probably guilty of something else too

§ 18.1Chewing with your mouth openMastication Conduct Order§ 31.2Being late to everythingChronic Lateness Warning§ 14.1Interrupting constantlyInterruption Cease and Desist§ 10.1Never paying back small amountsOutstanding Balance Notice