Notice of Eviction
In the matter of Uncovered Expulsion in a Shared Space
OffenseCoughing without coveringSeverityStep 3 of 3 · Notice of Eviction
In the matter of
Marcus
Respondent · hereinafter “the Occupant”
v.
Upon complaint of
Sarah
Complainant · a member of the household
You are hereby notified that the above-named Respondent has been found, upon evidence gathered over a period of considerable patience, to be in breach of the following provisions:
- § 2.12aUncovered expulsion. Coughing into the open air of a room containing other people.
- § 2.12bThe palm. Covering with the one part of the hand that will next touch a door.
- § 2.12cDirection. Facing the nearest person rather than the nearest empty space.
- § 2.12dAttendance while unwell. Arriving somewhere you had every option not to arrive.
- § 2.12eThe martyrdom. Announcing repeatedly that you have come in despite it.
It is therefore ordered that the Respondent cover it with an elbow, every time, without being asked, effective immediately. You are hereby evicted from the privilege described above, effective immediately. Compliance will be monitored. There is no appeals process, and there is no one to appeal to.
This notice is a gift and carries no legal force whatsoever. It is, however, extremely accurate.
detach and keep
Redemption stub · file COU-7924
Marcus
Scan to respond. You may plead guilty, appeal, or refuse to acknowledge this notice. Your response is recorded and forwarded to the complainant.
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