For someone guilty of sending nine messages instead of one

Channel Discipline Notice

For the colleague whose single thought arrives as eleven notifications. Choose 3 charges from 9, or write your own.

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The notice and the serving script, delivered instantly. Print it, or send the link.
Bureau of Workplace Conduct
Notice of Warning
In the matter of Fragmentation of a Single Message
File SLA-8830Issued SEPTEMBER 18, 2026Served under youvebeenserved.shop
OffenseSending nine messages instead of oneSeverityStep 1 of 3 · Notice of Warning
In the matter of
Marcus
Respondent · hereinafter “the Occupant”
v.
Upon complaint of
Sarah
Complainant · a member of the household

You are hereby notified that the above-named Respondent has been found, upon evidence gathered over a period of considerable patience, to be in breach of the following provisions:

Provisions breached
  1. § 26.8a
    Fragmentation. Distributing a single thought across nine separate transmissions.
  2. § 26.8b
    The opening greeting. Sending ”hi” alone and beginning to type the actual matter afterwards.
  3. § 26.8c
    Everyone notification. Alerting an entire channel for a matter concerning two people.

It is therefore ordered that the Respondent write the whole thought, then send it once, effective immediately. You are advised that continued conduct of this nature will be escalated.

Compliance will be monitored. There is no appeals process, and there is no one to appeal to.

Response required

The Respondent is required to answer. Detach the stub below and scan the code. Your answer is recorded and forwarded to the complainant.

Signed, the complainant
Sarah
Witness to service
print name
This notice is a gift and carries no legal force whatsoever. It is, however, extremely accurate.
detach and keep
Redemption stub · file SLA-8830
Marcus
Scan to answer

You are required to respond. Choose one:

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VOID00
Also included · the serving script

The words to say while you hand it over.

“Serve it in one message. Make the point.”

  • The script to read while serving them, in order
  • Stage directions, where to stand, when to pause
  • Best performed to an audience. Film it.

They are probably guilty of something else too

§ 31.2Being late to everythingChronic Lateness Warning§ 21.2Leaving messages on readRead Receipt Citation§ 18.1Chewing with your mouth openMastication Conduct Order§ 37.2On their phone all the timeUndivided Attention Order

Also called slack · teams · messaging · notifications · office