Channel Discipline Notice

For the colleague whose single thought arrives as eleven notifications. Choose 5 charges from 9, or write your own.

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Channel Discipline Notice · two documents · 5 charges you choose + the serving script
Bureau of Workplace Conduct
Notice of Warning
In the matter of Fragmentation of a Single Message
File SLA-8830Issued AUGUST 23, 2026Served under youvebeenserved.shop
OffenseSending nine messages instead of oneSeverityStep 1 of 3 · Notice of Warning
In the matter of
Marcus
Respondent · hereinafter “the Occupant”
v.
Upon complaint of
Sarah
Complainant · a member of the household

You are hereby notified that the above-named Respondent has been found, upon evidence gathered over a period of considerable patience, to be in breach of the following provisions:

  1. § 26.8a
    Fragmentation. Distributing a single thought across nine separate transmissions.
  2. § 26.8b
    The opening greeting. Sending ”hi” alone and beginning to type the actual matter afterwards.
  3. § 26.8c
    Everyone notification. Alerting an entire channel for a matter concerning two people.
  4. § 26.8d
    Thread avoidance. Replying in the main channel to a message that had a thread.
  5. § 26.8e
    Out-of-hours despatch. Sending at an hour with an expectation of a reply at that hour.

It is therefore ordered that the Respondent write the whole thought, then send it once, effective immediately. You are advised that continued conduct of this nature will be escalated. Compliance will be monitored. There is no appeals process, and there is no one to appeal to.

Response required

The Respondent is required to answer this notice. Detach the stub below and scan it; you may plead guilty, plead not guilty and appeal, or refuse to acknowledge the notice. Your answer is recorded and forwarded to the complainant.

Signed, the complainant
Sarah
Witness to service
print name
This notice is a gift and carries no legal force whatsoever. It is, however, extremely accurate.
detach and keep
Redemption stub · file SLA-8830
Marcus

Scan to respond. You may plead guilty, appeal, or refuse to acknowledge this notice. Your response is recorded and forwarded to the complainant.

https://www.youvebeenserved.shop
VOID00
Also included · the serving script

The words to say while you hand it over.

“Serve it in one message. Make the point.”

  • The exact lines to read aloud, in order
  • Stage directions — where to stand, when to pause
  • Best performed to an audience. Film it.

They are probably guilty of something else too

§ 31.2Being late to everythingChronic Lateness Warning§ 18.1Chewing with your mouth openMastication Conduct Order§ 2.4Cracking knuckles constantlyPercussive Habit Notice§ 14.1Interrupting constantlyInterruption Cease and Desist