For someone guilty of picking their nose in company

Nasal Conduct Order

For the one who thinks nobody can see them at a red light. Everybody can see them. Choose 3 charges from 9, or write your own.

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The notice and the serving script, delivered instantly. Print it, or send the link.
Bureau of Personal Hygiene
Notice of Warning
In the matter of Excavation Conducted in Public View
File NOS-3090Issued SEPTEMBER 18, 2026Served under youvebeenserved.shop
OffensePicking their nose in companySeverityStep 1 of 3 · Notice of Warning
In the matter of
Marcus
Respondent · hereinafter “the Occupant”
v.
Upon complaint of
Sarah
Complainant · a member of the household

You are hereby notified that the above-named Respondent has been found, upon evidence gathered over a period of considerable patience, to be in breach of the following provisions:

Provisions breached
  1. § 2.5a
    Excavation in public view. Conducting the operation in a room containing other people.
  2. § 2.5b
    The traffic light. Believing a windscreen to be a one-way mirror, daily.
  3. § 2.5c
    Depth. Proceeding past any depth a tissue could not have reached.

It is therefore ordered that the Respondent use a tissue, in another room, effective immediately. You are advised that continued conduct of this nature will be escalated.

Compliance will be monitored. There is no appeals process, and there is no one to appeal to.

Response required

The Respondent is required to answer. Detach the stub below and scan the code. Your answer is recorded and forwarded to the complainant.

Signed, the complainant
Sarah
Witness to service
print name
This notice is a gift and carries no legal force whatsoever. It is, however, extremely accurate.
detach and keep
Redemption stub · file NOS-3090
Marcus
Scan to answer

You are required to respond. Choose one:

No camera? Go to youvebeenserved.shop

VOID00
Also included · the serving script

The words to say while you hand it over.

“Serve it mid-excavation. The timing is the whole document.”

  • The script to read while serving them, in order
  • Stage directions, where to stand, when to pause
  • Best performed to an audience. Film it.

They are probably guilty of something else too

§ 18.1Chewing with your mouth openMastication Conduct Order§ 37.2On their phone all the timeUndivided Attention Order§ 31.2Being late to everythingChronic Lateness Warning§ 21.2Leaving messages on readRead Receipt Citation

Also called nose · picking · gross · hygiene · disgusting · habit