Reciprocity Enforcement Notice

For the friend for whom next time has never once arrived. Choose 5 charges from 9, or write your own.

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Reciprocity Enforcement Notice · two documents · 5 charges you choose + the serving script
Bureau of Accounts and Settlement
Notice of Warning
In the matter of Perpetual Deferral of Reciprocation
File NEX-6300Issued AUGUST 23, 2026Served under youvebeenserved.shop
In the matter of
Marcus
Respondent · hereinafter “the Occupant”
v.
Upon complaint of
Sarah
Complainant · a member of the household

You are hereby notified that the above-named Respondent has been found, upon evidence gathered over a period of considerable patience, to be in breach of the following provisions:

  1. § 10.5a
    Perpetual deferral. Undertaking to reciprocate on an occasion that does not arrive.
  2. § 10.5b
    The renewed promise. Meeting the arrival of next time with a fresh reference to next time.
  3. § 10.5c
    Selective memory of the ledger. Recalling every occasion of paying and none of being paid for.
  4. § 10.5d
    Convenient timing. Being absent from the counter at the moment of ordering, consistently.
  5. § 10.5e
    Downward adjustment. Reciprocating eventually, at a materially lower value.

It is therefore ordered that the Respondent get the next one, on the next occasion, without being reminded, effective immediately. You are advised that continued conduct of this nature will be escalated. Compliance will be monitored. There is no appeals process, and there is no one to appeal to.

Response required

The Respondent is required to answer this notice. Detach the stub below and scan it; you may plead guilty, plead not guilty and appeal, or refuse to acknowledge the notice. Your answer is recorded and forwarded to the complainant.

OffenseAlways getting you next timeSeverityStep 1 of 3 · Notice of Warning
Signed, the complainant
Sarah
Witness to service
print name
This notice is a gift and carries no legal force whatsoever. It is, however, extremely accurate. Not medical advice — but do get up.
detach and keep
Redemption stub · file NEX-6300
Marcus

Scan to respond. You may plead guilty, appeal, or refuse to acknowledge this notice. Your response is recorded and forwarded to the complainant.

https://www.youvebeenserved.shop
VOID00
Also included · the serving script

The words to say while you hand it over.

“Serve it at the start of the evening, before the first round.”

  • The exact lines to read aloud, in order
  • Stage directions — where to stand, when to pause
  • Best performed to an audience. Film it.

They are probably guilty of something else too

§ 31.2Being late to everythingChronic Lateness Warning§ 18.1Chewing with your mouth openMastication Conduct Order§ 14.1Interrupting constantlyInterruption Cease and Desist§ 21.1One-word repliesMinimum Reply Order