For someone guilty of never throwing anything out of the fridge

Perishables Removal Order

For the household whose fridge contains something nobody will open. Choose 3 charges from 9, or write your own.

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The notice and the serving script, delivered instantly. Print it, or send the link.
Bureau of Kitchen Standards
Notice of Warning
In the matter of Retention of Matter Beyond Its Term
File FRI-8686Issued SEPTEMBER 18, 2026Served under youvebeenserved.shop
OffenseNever throwing anything out of the fridgeSeverityStep 1 of 3 · Notice of Warning
In the matter of
Marcus
Respondent · hereinafter “the Occupant”
v.
Upon complaint of
Sarah
Complainant · a member of the household

You are hereby notified that the above-named Respondent has been found, upon evidence gathered over a period of considerable patience, to be in breach of the following provisions:

Provisions breached
  1. § 7.5a
    Retention beyond term. Storing perishable matter for a period exceeding any use for it.
  2. § 7.5b
    The unidentifiable container. Maintaining an item whose contents can no longer be determined.
  3. § 7.5c
    Date disregard. Retaining goods whose labels have been unreadable for some months.

It is therefore ordered that the Respondent clear your own items every week, before they become a discovery, effective immediately. You are advised that continued conduct of this nature will be escalated.

Compliance will be monitored. There is no appeals process, and there is no one to appeal to.

Response required

The Respondent is required to answer. Detach the stub below and scan the code. Your answer is recorded and forwarded to the complainant.

Signed, the complainant
Sarah
Witness to service
print name
This notice is a gift and carries no legal force whatsoever. It is, however, extremely accurate.
detach and keep
Redemption stub · file FRI-8686
Marcus
Scan to answer

You are required to respond. Choose one:

No camera? Go to youvebeenserved.shop

VOID00
Also included · the serving script

The words to say while you hand it over.

“Serve it in front of the fridge. Do not open the drawer.”

  • The script to read while serving them, in order
  • Stage directions, where to stand, when to pause
  • Best performed to an audience. Film it.

They are probably guilty of something else too

§ 2.7Not washing their handsHand Hygiene Order§ 2.10Sniffing instead of using a tissueTissue Deployment Notice§ 38.5Passive-aggressive notesDirect Communication Order§ 12.1Never replacing the toilet rollReplenishment Order

Also called fridge · food · leftovers · gross · mouldy · kitchen