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Communal Refrigerator Order · two documents · 5 charges you choose + the serving script
Bureau of Shared Provisions

Notice of Eviction

In the matter of Removal of Provisions Belonging to Another
File FRI-6617Issued AUGUST 22, 2026Served under youvebeenserved.shop
In the matter of
Marcus
Respondent · hereinafter “the Occupant”
v.
Upon complaint of
Sarah
Complainant · a member of the household

You are hereby notified that the above-named Respondent has been found, upon evidence gathered over a period of considerable patience, to be in breach of the following provisions:

  1. § 26.7a
    Removal of labeled property. Consumption of an item bearing another person’s name in that person’s own handwriting.
  2. § 26.7b
    Denial in the kitchen. Participation in a discussion about the missing item while still holding the wrapper.
  3. § 26.7c
    Partial consumption. Return of a container holding a quantity too small to constitute anybody’s lunch.
  4. § 26.7d
    Escalation to condiments. Extension of the practice to milk, butter, and anything that could be called communal.
  5. § 26.7e
    Failure to make restitution. Omission of any attempt at replacement over a period now measured in months.

It is therefore ordered that the Respondent eat only what you brought, and replace what you did not, effective immediately. You are hereby evicted from the privilege described above, effective immediately. Compliance will be monitored. There is no appeals process, and there is no one to appeal to.

Response required

The Respondent is required to answer this notice. Detach the stub below and scan it; you may plead guilty, plead not guilty and appeal, or refuse to acknowledge the notice. Your answer is recorded and forwarded to the complainant.

OffenseTaking food from the office fridgeSeverityStep 3 of 3 · Notice of Eviction
Signed, the complainant
Sarah
Witness to service
print name
This notice is a gift and carries no legal force whatsoever. It is, however, extremely accurate. Not medical advice — but do get up.
detach and keep
Redemption stub · file FRI-6617
Marcus

Scan to respond. You may plead guilty, appeal, or refuse to acknowledge this notice. Your response is recorded and forwarded to the complainant.

https://www.youvebeenserved.shop
VOID00
Bureau of Shared Provisions

Instructions

for the service of notice
File FRI-6617To be read aloudDo not smile

Service must be performed in person. Read the marked passages exactly as written. Anything in italics is direction and should not be read aloud, however tempting.

Before you begin

Serve at the fridge, with the door open, in front of the shelf in question.

Have a witness present if you can. It doubles the audience and gives you someone to sign the form.

Give the witness your phone and have them film it. The document is the gift; their face is the part you keep.

Hold the notice with both hands. Do not smile. The whole thing collapses if you smile.

The service

“MARCUS. Do I have your attention.”

“I am serving you with a Communal Refrigerator Order, file number FRI-6617, issued this day under the Bureau of Shared Provisions.”

“You have been found in breach of five provisions. I will read them.”

— read the charges from the notice, in order, without editorial —

The order

“It is therefore ordered that you comply, effective immediately.”

“A response is required. The code is on the stub.”

“Do you accept service?”

After they accept

Hand them the stub. Point at the code. Say nothing else — they will fill the silence themselves.

Sign the notice. Have your witness sign it. They keep it.

You may smile now.

Post the footage and tag @youvebeenserved. The best ones go on the wall, and whoever filmed it serves their next one on us.

Keep your copy. Hand over the stub. Say nothing else.