Provision Replacement Order

For the one who takes the last coffee and puts the empty tin back. Choose 5 charges from 9, or write your own.

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Provision Replacement Order · two documents · 5 charges you choose + the serving script
Bureau of Kitchen Standards
Notice of Warning
In the matter of Depletion Without Disclosure
File LAS-8454Issued AUGUST 23, 2026Served under youvebeenserved.shop
OffenseTaking the last of it and saying nothingSeverityStep 1 of 3 · Notice of Warning
In the matter of
Marcus
Respondent · hereinafter “the Occupant”
v.
Upon complaint of
Sarah
Complainant · a member of the household

You are hereby notified that the above-named Respondent has been found, upon evidence gathered over a period of considerable patience, to be in breach of the following provisions:

  1. § 7.3a
    Depletion without disclosure. Exhausting a shared supply and informing nobody.
  2. § 7.3b
    The returned empty. Restoring the container to its shelf in a condition suggesting contents.
  3. § 7.3c
    Volume misjudgement. Taking a quantity that could not have been intended as a share.
  4. § 7.3d
    Pot non-renewal. Finishing a shared brew and declining to make the next one.
  5. § 7.3e
    The last portion. Removing the final serving of something clearly bought for the group.

It is therefore ordered that the Respondent replace it, or say it has run out, on the day it runs out, effective immediately. You are advised that continued conduct of this nature will be escalated. Compliance will be monitored. There is no appeals process, and there is no one to appeal to.

Response required

The Respondent is required to answer this notice. Detach the stub below and scan it; you may plead guilty, plead not guilty and appeal, or refuse to acknowledge the notice. Your answer is recorded and forwarded to the complainant.

Signed, the complainant
Sarah
Witness to service
print name
This notice is a gift and carries no legal force whatsoever. It is, however, extremely accurate.
detach and keep
Redemption stub · file LAS-8454
Marcus

Scan to respond. You may plead guilty, appeal, or refuse to acknowledge this notice. Your response is recorded and forwarded to the complainant.

https://www.youvebeenserved.shop
VOID00
Also included · the serving script

The words to say while you hand it over.

“Serve it while holding the empty container.”

  • The exact lines to read aloud, in order
  • Stage directions — where to stand, when to pause
  • Best performed to an audience. Film it.

They are probably guilty of something else too

§ 12.1Never replacing the toilet rollReplenishment Order§ 7.1Leaving the microwave explodedCommunal Appliance Order§ 18.1Chewing with your mouth openMastication Conduct Order§ 2.4Cracking knuckles constantlyPercussive Habit Notice