Notice of Warning
In the matter of Unsolicited Promotion of a Regimen
In the matter of
Marcus
Respondent · hereinafter “the Occupant”
v.
Upon complaint of
Sarah
Complainant · a member of the household
You are hereby notified that the above-named Respondent has been found, upon evidence gathered over a period of considerable patience, to be in breach of the following provisions:
- § 33.1aUnsolicited promotion. Introducing a regimen to a conversation that had not sought one.
- § 33.1bMealtime commentary. Remarking on the contents of another person’s plate.
- § 33.1cConversion attempt. Recommending the regimen to a listener who has declined it twice.
- § 33.1dThe energy report. Describing your improved wellbeing to somebody attempting to enjoy bread.
- § 33.1eMenu obstruction. Extending the ordering process through requirements announced at the table.
It is therefore ordered that the Respondent discuss your regimen only with people who have asked about it, effective immediately. You are advised that continued conduct of this nature will be escalated. Compliance will be monitored. There is no appeals process, and there is no one to appeal to.
This notice is a gift and carries no legal force whatsoever. It is, however, extremely accurate. Not medical advice — but do get up.
detach and keep
Redemption stub · file DIE-5145
Marcus
Scan to respond. You may plead guilty, appeal, or refuse to acknowledge this notice. Your response is recorded and forwarded to the complainant.
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VOID00