Attribution Order

For the colleague who presents your work and says “we” exactly once. Choose 5 charges from 9, or write your own.

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Attribution Order · two documents · 5 charges you choose + the serving script
Bureau of Workplace Conduct
Notice of Eviction
In the matter of Appropriation of Another’s Work
File TAK-6473Issued AUGUST 23, 2026Served under youvebeenserved.shop
OffenseTaking credit for your workSeverityStep 3 of 3 · Notice of Eviction
In the matter of
Marcus
Respondent · hereinafter “the Occupant”
v.
Upon complaint of
Sarah
Complainant · a member of the household

You are hereby notified that the above-named Respondent has been found, upon evidence gathered over a period of considerable patience, to be in breach of the following provisions:

  1. § 26.5a
    Appropriation of work. Presenting another’s output as though it were your own.
  2. § 26.5b
    The collective pronoun. Deploying ”we” in a manner obscuring who did which part.
  3. § 26.5c
    Selective attribution. Naming the contributor in the failures and not in the successes.
  4. § 26.5d
    Forwarded without credit. Passing work upward with the originating name removed.
  5. § 26.5e
    The rehearsed question. Answering a detail you were told the answer to that morning.

It is therefore ordered that the Respondent name the person who did it, in the room where it is being praised, effective immediately. You are hereby evicted from the privilege described above, effective immediately. Compliance will be monitored. There is no appeals process, and there is no one to appeal to.

Response required

The Respondent is required to answer this notice. Detach the stub below and scan it; you may plead guilty, plead not guilty and appeal, or refuse to acknowledge the notice. Your answer is recorded and forwarded to the complainant.

Signed, the complainant
Sarah
Witness to service
print name
This notice is a gift and carries no legal force whatsoever. It is, however, extremely accurate.
detach and keep
Redemption stub · file TAK-6473
Marcus

Scan to respond. You may plead guilty, appeal, or refuse to acknowledge this notice. Your response is recorded and forwarded to the complainant.

https://www.youvebeenserved.shop
VOID00
Also included · the serving script

The words to say while you hand it over.

“Serve it after the meeting, privately, in writing.”

  • The exact lines to read aloud, in order
  • Stage directions — where to stand, when to pause
  • Best performed to an audience. Film it.

They are probably guilty of something else too

§ 31.2Being late to everythingChronic Lateness Warning§ 26.7Taking food from the office fridgeCommunal Refrigerator Order§ 7.1Leaving the microwave explodedCommunal Appliance Order§ 18.1Chewing with your mouth openMastication Conduct Order