Visual Presence Order

For the colleague who has been a grey circle with initials since 2021. Choose 5 charges from 9, or write your own.

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Visual Presence Order · two documents · 5 charges you choose + the serving script
Bureau of Workplace Conduct
Notice of Warning
In the matter of Attendance Without Visible Presence
File CAM-6894Issued AUGUST 23, 2026Served under youvebeenserved.shop
OffenseCamera off in every meetingSeverityStep 1 of 3 · Notice of Warning
In the matter of
Marcus
Respondent · hereinafter “the Occupant”
v.
Upon complaint of
Sarah
Complainant · a member of the household

You are hereby notified that the above-named Respondent has been found, upon evidence gathered over a period of considerable patience, to be in breach of the following provisions:

  1. § 26.2a
    Attendance without visible presence. Joining every meeting as a static image and remaining so.
  2. § 26.2b
    The universal excuse. Citing bandwidth on a connection carrying video in the other direction.
  3. § 26.2c
    Selective activation. Appearing for meetings with senior attendance and no others.
  4. § 26.2d
    Delayed response. Producing a pause before every answer of a length that cannot be explained.
  5. § 26.2e
    Presence ambiguity. Leaving the room without any means for others to notice.

It is therefore ordered that the Respondent turn the camera on for meetings of six people or fewer, effective immediately. You are advised that continued conduct of this nature will be escalated. Compliance will be monitored. There is no appeals process, and there is no one to appeal to.

Response required

The Respondent is required to answer this notice. Detach the stub below and scan it; you may plead guilty, plead not guilty and appeal, or refuse to acknowledge the notice. Your answer is recorded and forwarded to the complainant.

Signed, the complainant
Sarah
Witness to service
print name
This notice is a gift and carries no legal force whatsoever. It is, however, extremely accurate.
detach and keep
Redemption stub · file CAM-6894
Marcus

Scan to respond. You may plead guilty, appeal, or refuse to acknowledge this notice. Your response is recorded and forwarded to the complainant.

https://www.youvebeenserved.shop
VOID00
Also included · the serving script

The words to say while you hand it over.

“Serve it in the meeting chat, while their circle sits there.”

  • The exact lines to read aloud, in order
  • Stage directions — where to stand, when to pause
  • Best performed to an audience. Film it.

They are probably guilty of something else too

§ 31.2Being late to everythingChronic Lateness Warning§ 26.7Taking food from the office fridgeCommunal Refrigerator Order§ 7.1Leaving the microwave explodedCommunal Appliance Order§ 18.1Chewing with your mouth openMastication Conduct Order