For someone guilty of always forgetting their wallet

Means of Payment Order

For the one whose wallet is always in the other coat. Choose 3 charges from 9, or write your own.

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The notice and the serving script, delivered instantly. Print it, or send the link.
Bureau of Accounts and Settlement
Notice of Warning
In the matter of Habitual Arrival Without Means
File WAL-7661Issued SEPTEMBER 18, 2026Served under youvebeenserved.shop
OffenseAlways forgetting their walletSeverityStep 1 of 3 · Notice of Warning
In the matter of
Marcus
Respondent · hereinafter “the Occupant”
v.
Upon complaint of
Sarah
Complainant · a member of the household

You are hereby notified that the above-named Respondent has been found, upon evidence gathered over a period of considerable patience, to be in breach of the following provisions:

Provisions breached
  1. § 10.4a
    Habitual arrival without means. Attending a paid occasion without any method of paying.
  2. § 10.4b
    The other coat. Attributing the absence to a garment at home, on each occasion.
  3. § 10.4c
    Declined card theater. Producing a card known in advance to be non-functional.

It is therefore ordered that the Respondent carry a means of payment and use it first, effective immediately. You are advised that continued conduct of this nature will be escalated.

Compliance will be monitored. There is no appeals process, and there is no one to appeal to.

Response required

The Respondent is required to answer. Detach the stub below and scan the code. Your answer is recorded and forwarded to the complainant.

Signed, the complainant
Sarah
Witness to service
print name
This notice is a gift and carries no legal force whatsoever. It is, however, extremely accurate.
detach and keep
Redemption stub · file WAL-7661
Marcus
Scan to answer

You are required to respond. Choose one:

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VOID00
Also included · the serving script

The words to say while you hand it over.

“Serve it as the bill arrives, while they are patting their pockets.”

  • The script to read while serving them, in order
  • Stage directions, where to stand, when to pause
  • Best performed to an audience. Film it.

They are probably guilty of something else too

§ 31.2Being late to everythingChronic Lateness Warning§ 21.2Leaving messages on readRead Receipt Citation§ 18.1Chewing with your mouth openMastication Conduct Order§ 37.2On their phone all the timeUndivided Attention Order

Also called money · wallet · paying · cash · tight