For someone guilty of clipping nails in shared rooms

Grooming Location Order

For the one who does that on the sofa. In front of people. With a sound. Choose 3 charges from 9, or write your own.

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The notice and the serving script, delivered instantly. Print it, or send the link.
Bureau of Personal Hygiene
Notice of Warning
In the matter of Grooming Conducted in Communal Space
File NAI-3636Issued SEPTEMBER 18, 2026Served under youvebeenserved.shop
OffenseClipping nails in shared roomsSeverityStep 1 of 3 · Notice of Warning
In the matter of
Marcus
Respondent · hereinafter “the Occupant”
v.
Upon complaint of
Sarah
Complainant · a member of the household

You are hereby notified that the above-named Respondent has been found, upon evidence gathered over a period of considerable patience, to be in breach of the following provisions:

Provisions breached
  1. § 2.1a
    Grooming in communal space. Conducting personal grooming in a room designated for sitting in.
  2. § 2.1b
    Acoustic aggravation. Producing a sound that carries further than the act would suggest possible.
  3. § 2.1c
    Projectile dispersal. Releasing matter on an unpredictable trajectory into a shared room.

It is therefore ordered that the Respondent conduct all grooming in a bathroom with the door closed, effective immediately. You are advised that continued conduct of this nature will be escalated.

Compliance will be monitored. There is no appeals process, and there is no one to appeal to.

Response required

The Respondent is required to answer. Detach the stub below and scan the code. Your answer is recorded and forwarded to the complainant.

Signed, the complainant
Sarah
Witness to service
print name
This notice is a gift and carries no legal force whatsoever. It is, however, extremely accurate.
detach and keep
Redemption stub · file NAI-3636
Marcus
Scan to answer

You are required to respond. Choose one:

No camera? Go to youvebeenserved.shop

VOID00
Also included · the serving script

The words to say while you hand it over.

“Serve it the instant the clippers appear. Do not wait for the first one.”

  • The script to read while serving them, in order
  • Stage directions, where to stand, when to pause
  • Best performed to an audience. Film it.

They are probably guilty of something else too

§ 18.1Chewing with your mouth openMastication Conduct Order§ 37.2On their phone all the timeUndivided Attention Order§ 2.10Sniffing instead of using a tissueTissue Deployment Notice§ 2.5Picking their nose in companyNasal Conduct Order

Also called nails · clipping · gross · grooming