Final Notice
In the matter of Grooming Conducted in Communal Space
In the matter of
Marcus
Respondent · hereinafter “the Occupant”
v.
Upon complaint of
Sarah
Complainant · a member of the household
You are hereby notified that the above-named Respondent has been found, upon evidence gathered over a period of considerable patience, to be in breach of the following provisions:
- § 2.1aGrooming in communal space. Conducting personal grooming in a room designated for sitting in.
- § 2.1bAcoustic aggravation. Producing a sound that carries further than the act would suggest possible.
- § 2.1cProjectile dispersal. Releasing matter on an unpredictable trajectory into a shared room.
- § 2.1dNon-recovery. Declining to retrieve what was dispersed, on the basis that it is small.
- § 2.1eThe dining surface. Selecting a table at which food is served as the site of the operation.
It is therefore ordered that the Respondent conduct all grooming in a bathroom with the door closed, effective immediately. This is a final notice. No further warnings will be issued. Compliance will be monitored. There is no appeals process, and there is no one to appeal to.
This notice is a gift and carries no legal force whatsoever. It is, however, extremely accurate. Not medical advice — but do get up.
detach and keep
Redemption stub · file NAI-3636
Marcus
Scan to respond. You may plead guilty, appeal, or refuse to acknowledge this notice. Your response is recorded and forwarded to the complainant.
https://www.youvebeenserved.shop
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