Anniversary Recollection Notice

For the one who has never once remembered without being told, twice. Choose 5 charges from 9, or write your own.

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Anniversary Recollection Notice · two documents · 5 charges you choose + the serving script
Office of Occasions
Notice of Warning
In the matter of Failure to Observe a Known Date
File BIR-6362Issued AUGUST 23, 2026Served under youvebeenserved.shop
In the matter of
Marcus
Respondent · hereinafter “the Occupant”
v.
Upon complaint of
Sarah
Complainant · a member of the household

You are hereby notified that the above-named Respondent has been found, upon evidence gathered over a period of considerable patience, to be in breach of the following provisions:

  1. § 32.1a
    Failure to observe. Permitting a known date to pass without acknowledgement.
  2. § 32.1b
    Prompted recollection. Producing a greeting only after being informed by a third party.
  3. § 32.1c
    Platform dependence. Relying entirely on an automated reminder, and failing when it does not fire.
  4. § 32.1d
    The late message. Arriving three days afterwards with a reference to having been busy.
  5. § 32.1e
    Asymmetry. Expecting full observance of your own date while observing none.

It is therefore ordered that the Respondent write the dates down once and consult them, effective immediately. You are advised that continued conduct of this nature will be escalated. Compliance will be monitored. There is no appeals process, and there is no one to appeal to.

Response required

The Respondent is required to answer this notice. Detach the stub below and scan it; you may plead guilty, plead not guilty and appeal, or refuse to acknowledge the notice. Your answer is recorded and forwarded to the complainant.

OffenseNever remembering birthdaysSeverityStep 1 of 3 · Notice of Warning
Signed, the complainant
Sarah
Witness to service
print name
This notice is a gift and carries no legal force whatsoever. It is, however, extremely accurate. Not medical advice — but do get up.
detach and keep
Redemption stub · file BIR-6362
Marcus

Scan to respond. You may plead guilty, appeal, or refuse to acknowledge this notice. Your response is recorded and forwarded to the complainant.

https://www.youvebeenserved.shop
VOID00
Also included · the serving script

The words to say while you hand it over.

“Serve it on your birthday. They will not have known.”

  • The exact lines to read aloud, in order
  • Stage directions — where to stand, when to pause
  • Best performed to an audience. Film it.

They are probably guilty of something else too

§ 31.2Being late to everythingChronic Lateness Warning§ 18.1Chewing with your mouth openMastication Conduct Order§ 14.1Interrupting constantlyInterruption Cease and Desist§ 21.1One-word repliesMinimum Reply Order