For someone guilty of never remembering birthdays

Anniversary Recollection Notice

For the one who has never once remembered without being told, twice. Choose 3 charges from 9, or write your own.

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Office of Occasions
Notice of Warning
In the matter of Failure to Observe a Known Date
File BIR-6362Issued SEPTEMBER 18, 2026Served under youvebeenserved.shop
OffenseNever remembering birthdaysSeverityStep 1 of 3 · Notice of Warning
In the matter of
Marcus
Respondent · hereinafter “the Occupant”
v.
Upon complaint of
Sarah
Complainant · a member of the household

You are hereby notified that the above-named Respondent has been found, upon evidence gathered over a period of considerable patience, to be in breach of the following provisions:

Provisions breached
  1. § 32.1a
    Failure to observe. Permitting a known date to pass without acknowledgement.
  2. § 32.1b
    Prompted recollection. Producing a greeting only after being informed by a third party.
  3. § 32.1c
    Platform dependence. Relying entirely on an automated reminder, and failing when it does not fire.

It is therefore ordered that the Respondent write the dates down once and consult them, effective immediately. You are advised that continued conduct of this nature will be escalated.

Compliance will be monitored. There is no appeals process, and there is no one to appeal to.

Response required

The Respondent is required to answer. Detach the stub below and scan the code. Your answer is recorded and forwarded to the complainant.

Signed, the complainant
Sarah
Witness to service
print name
This notice is a gift and carries no legal force whatsoever. It is, however, extremely accurate.
detach and keep
Redemption stub · file BIR-6362
Marcus
Scan to answer

You are required to respond. Choose one:

No camera? Go to youvebeenserved.shop

VOID00
Also included · the serving script

The words to say while you hand it over.

“Serve it on your birthday. They will not have known.”

  • The script to read while serving them, in order
  • Stage directions, where to stand, when to pause
  • Best performed to an audience. Film it.

They are probably guilty of something else too

§ 31.2Being late to everythingChronic Lateness Warning§ 21.2Leaving messages on readRead Receipt Citation§ 18.1Chewing with your mouth openMastication Conduct Order§ 37.2On their phone all the timeUndivided Attention Order

Also called birthday · forgetting · dates · presents