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Reply-All Restraining Order · two documents · 5 charges you choose + the serving script
Office of Digital Correspondence

Notice of Eviction

In the matter of Correspondence Addressed to Persons Who Did Not Require It
File REP-5091Issued AUGUST 22, 2026Served under youvebeenserved.shop
In the matter of
Marcus
Respondent · hereinafter “the Occupant”
v.
Upon complaint of
Sarah
Complainant · a member of the household

You are hereby notified that the above-named Respondent has been found, upon evidence gathered over a period of considerable patience, to be in breach of the following provisions:

  1. § 21.7a
    Unnecessary broadcast. Transmission of “thanks” to forty-one recipients, forty of whom had not been thanked.
  2. § 21.7b
    Escalation by correspondence. Continuation of a thread past the point at which any matter remained unresolved.
  3. § 21.7c
    Interruption of unrelated parties. Delivery of a notification to persons who had, moments earlier, been working.
  4. § 21.7d
    Off-list matter conducted on-list. Discussion of lunch arrangements before an audience assembled for a deadline.
  5. § 21.7e
    Recall attempted. Use of a recall function that does not work, has never worked, and notified everyone that it was tried.

It is therefore ordered that the Respondent reply to the sender, and to the sender only, effective immediately. You are hereby evicted from the privilege described above, effective immediately. Compliance will be monitored. There is no appeals process, and there is no one to appeal to.

Response required

The Respondent is required to answer this notice. Detach the stub below and scan it; you may plead guilty, plead not guilty and appeal, or refuse to acknowledge the notice. Your answer is recorded and forwarded to the complainant.

OffenseReplying allSeverityStep 3 of 3 · Notice of Eviction
Signed, the complainant
Sarah
Witness to service
print name
This notice is a gift and carries no legal force whatsoever. It is, however, extremely accurate. Not medical advice — but do get up.
detach and keep
Redemption stub · file REP-5091
Marcus

Scan to respond. You may plead guilty, appeal, or refuse to acknowledge this notice. Your response is recorded and forwarded to the complainant.

https://www.youvebeenserved.shop
VOID00
Office of Digital Correspondence

Instructions

for the service of notice
File REP-5091To be read aloudDo not smile

Service must be performed in person. Read the marked passages exactly as written. Anything in italics is direction and should not be read aloud, however tempting.

Before you begin

Serve in person. Serving this particular notice by email would be, in the circumstances, provocative.

Have a witness present if you can. It doubles the audience and gives you someone to sign the form.

Give the witness your phone and have them film it. The document is the gift; their face is the part you keep.

Hold the notice with both hands. Do not smile. The whole thing collapses if you smile.

The service

“MARCUS. Do I have your attention.”

“I am serving you with a Reply-All Restraining Order, file number REP-5091, issued this day under the Office of Digital Correspondence.”

“You have been found in breach of five provisions. I will read them.”

— read the charges from the notice, in order, without editorial —

The order

“It is therefore ordered that you comply, effective immediately.”

“A response is required. The code is on the stub.”

“Do you accept service?”

After they accept

Hand them the stub. Point at the code. Say nothing else — they will fill the silence themselves.

Sign the notice. Have your witness sign it. They keep it.

You may smile now.

Post the footage and tag @youvebeenserved. The best ones go on the wall, and whoever filmed it serves their next one on us.

Keep your copy. Hand over the stub. Say nothing else.