Notice of Warning
In the matter of Competitive Escalation of Anecdote
In the matter of
Marcus
Respondent · hereinafter “the Occupant”
v.
Upon complaint of
Sarah
Complainant · a member of the household
You are hereby notified that the above-named Respondent has been found, upon evidence gathered over a period of considerable patience, to be in breach of the following provisions:
- § 14.2aCompetitive escalation. Responding to an account with a materially larger version of the same account.
- § 14.2bPre-emptive positioning. Signalling a superior story before the current one has concluded.
- § 14.2cDistance inflation. Increasing the reported severity of your version on each subsequent telling.
- § 14.2dSuffering arbitrage. Meeting a minor complaint with a considerably worse one, unprompted.
- § 14.2eThe unrelated triumph. Introducing an achievement bearing no relation to anything under discussion.
It is therefore ordered that the Respondent hear a story to its end and say nothing about your own, effective immediately. You are advised that continued conduct of this nature will be escalated. Compliance will be monitored. There is no appeals process, and there is no one to appeal to.
This notice is a gift and carries no legal force whatsoever. It is, however, extremely accurate. Not medical advice — but do get up.
detach and keep
Redemption stub · file ONE-7293
Marcus
Scan to respond. You may plead guilty, appeal, or refuse to acknowledge this notice. Your response is recorded and forwarded to the complainant.
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VOID00