For someone guilty of leaving the seat up

Toilet Seat Position Order

For the one who has been asked, at minimum, four hundred times. Choose 3 charges from 9, or write your own.

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Office of Bathroom Occupancy
Notice of Warning
In the matter of Position of a Shared Fixture Upon Departure
File SEA-3241Issued SEPTEMBER 18, 2026Served under youvebeenserved.shop
OffenseLeaving the seat upSeverityStep 1 of 3 · Notice of Warning
In the matter of
Marcus
Respondent · hereinafter “the Occupant”
v.
Upon complaint of
Sarah
Complainant · a member of the household

You are hereby notified that the above-named Respondent has been found, upon evidence gathered over a period of considerable patience, to be in breach of the following provisions:

Provisions breached
  1. § 12.9a
    Failure to restore. Departure from the fixture without returning it to the position in which it was found.
  2. § 12.9b
    Repetition after notice. Continuation of the conduct following four hundred and eleven verbal reminders.
  3. § 12.9c
    Endangerment in darkness. Creation of a hazard for any party arriving after midnight without the lights on.

It is therefore ordered that the Respondent return the seat to the lowered position upon every departure, effective immediately. You are advised that continued conduct of this nature will be escalated.

Compliance will be monitored. There is no appeals process, and there is no one to appeal to.

Response required

The Respondent is required to answer. Detach the stub below and scan the code. Your answer is recorded and forwarded to the complainant.

Signed, the complainant
Sarah
Witness to service
print name
This notice is a gift and carries no legal force whatsoever. It is, however, extremely accurate.
detach and keep
Redemption stub · file SEA-3241
Marcus
Scan to answer

You are required to respond. Choose one:

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VOID00
Also included · the serving script

The words to say while you hand it over.

“Serve in daylight, in the bathroom, with the fixture in evidence behind you.”

  • The script to read while serving them, in order
  • Stage directions, where to stand, when to pause
  • Best performed to an audience. Film it.

They are probably guilty of something else too

§ 12.1Never replacing the toilet rollReplenishment Order§ 12.4Occupying the bathroom for hoursBathroom Occupancy Order§ 7.6Loading the dishwasher wrongLoading Standards Notice§ 16.5Watching a whole season in one sittingContinuous Viewing Order

Also called toilet · seat · bathroom