For someone guilty of phone at the dinner table

Dinner Table Phone Ban

For the relative who eats an entire meal without once looking up. Choose 3 charges from 9, or write your own.

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The notice and the serving script, delivered instantly. Print it, or send the link.
Commission on Household Dining
Notice of Warning
In the matter of Conduct at the Dinner Table
File PHO-7665Issued SEPTEMBER 18, 2026Served under youvebeenserved.shop
OffensePhone at the dinner tableSeverityStep 1 of 3 · Notice of Warning
In the matter of
Marcus
Respondent · hereinafter “the Occupant”
v.
Upon complaint of
Sarah
Complainant · a member of the household

You are hereby notified that the above-named Respondent has been found, upon evidence gathered over a period of considerable patience, to be in breach of the following provisions:

Provisions breached
  1. § 18.3a
    Failure to acknowledge the cook. Consuming a prepared meal without comment, eye contact, or any evidence of awareness.
  2. § 18.3b
    Table-level screen operation. Holding a device below the table edge under the belief that this constitutes concealment.
  3. § 18.3c
    Conversational non-participation. Responding “yeah” to three consecutive questions, none of which were yes-or-no questions.

It is therefore ordered that the Respondent surrender the device, face down, for the duration of the meal, effective immediately. You are advised that continued conduct of this nature will be escalated.

Compliance will be monitored. There is no appeals process, and there is no one to appeal to.

Response required

The Respondent is required to answer. Detach the stub below and scan the code. Your answer is recorded and forwarded to the complainant.

Signed, the complainant
Sarah
Witness to service
print name
This notice is a gift and carries no legal force whatsoever. It is, however, extremely accurate.
detach and keep
Redemption stub · file PHO-7665
Marcus
Scan to answer

You are required to respond. Choose one:

No camera? Go to youvebeenserved.shop

VOID00
Also included · the serving script

The words to say while you hand it over.

“Serve it at the table, between courses, while they are holding the device.”

  • The script to read while serving them, in order
  • Stage directions, where to stand, when to pause
  • Best performed to an audience. Film it.

They are probably guilty of something else too

§ 31.2Being late to everythingChronic Lateness Warning§ 16.8Spoiling the endingSpoiler Cease and Desist§ 21.2Leaving messages on readRead Receipt Citation§ 18.1Chewing with your mouth openMastication Conduct Order

Also called phone · screen · dinner · table · manners