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The dishes, the thermostat, the laundry that has been in the machine since Tuesday. Formally, and with a case number.

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  • Three charges you choose, from nine written for that habit
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Department of Kitchen Standards
Notice of Warning
In the matter of Kitchen Sanitation and Basin Use
File DIS-4532Issued SEPTEMBER 18, 2026Served under youvebeenserved.shop
OffenseLeaving dishes in the sinkSeverityStep 1 of 3 · Notice of Warning
In the matter of
Marcus
Respondent · hereinafter “the Occupant”
v.
Upon complaint of
Sarah
Complainant · a member of the household

You are hereby notified that the above-named Respondent has been found, upon evidence gathered over a period of considerable patience, to be in breach of the following provisions:

Provisions breached
  1. § 7.9a
    Indefinite soaking. Filling a vessel with water and describing this as progress. Soaking is not cleaning. It has never been cleaning.
  2. § 7.9b
    Occupation of a shared basin. Rendering the sink unusable to other members of the household for a period exceeding twenty-four hours.
  3. § 7.9c
    Proximity offense. Placing an item beside the dishwasher rather than inside it, a distance of some four inches.

It is therefore ordered that the Respondent clear all items to the dishwasher within one (1) hour of use, effective immediately. You are advised that continued conduct of this nature will be escalated.

Compliance will be monitored. There is no appeals process, and there is no one to appeal to.

Response required

The Respondent is required to answer. Detach the stub below and scan the code. Your answer is recorded and forwarded to the complainant.

Signed, the complainant
Sarah
Witness to service
print name
This notice is a gift and carries no legal force whatsoever. It is, however, extremely accurate. Not a chore schedule, but it could become one.
detach and keep
Redemption stub · file DIS-4532
Marcus
Scan to answer

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Sink Clearance Notice · one of 79 for this
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Pick what they are guilty of.

§ 7.9Leaving dishes in the sinkIssues: Sink Clearance NoticeFor the one who soaks a pan for four days and calls it a plan.Choose 3Serve ▸§ 9.2Leaving laundry in the machineIssues: Laundry Abandonment NoticeFor the one whose laundry finished on Tuesday and is still in there.Choose 3Serve ▸§ 4.6Touching the thermostatIssues: Thermostat Interference OrderFor the household operative conducting unauthorized temperature policy.Choose 3Serve ▸§ 12.4Occupying the bathroom for hoursIssues: Bathroom Occupancy OrderFor the household member who treats a shared facility as a private study.Choose 3Serve ▸§ 7.2Leaving cabinet doors openIssues: Cabinet Door CitationFor the one who opens everything and closes nothing.Choose 3Serve ▸§ 12.1Never replacing the toilet rollIssues: Replenishment OrderFor the one who uses the last of it and leaves the cardboard tube as a monument.Choose 3Serve ▸§ 7.6Loading the dishwasher wrongIssues: Loading Standards NoticeFor the one whose loading technique has been described, accurately, as an attack.Choose 3Serve ▸§ 12.9Leaving the seat upIssues: Toilet Seat Position OrderFor the one who has been asked, at minimum, four hundred times.Choose 3Serve ▸§ 16.5Watching a whole season in one sittingIssues: Continuous Viewing OrderFor the one who takes “are you still watching” as an accusation.Choose 3Serve ▸§ 36.10Buying the loudest possible toyIssues: Acoustic Gift InjunctionFor the grandparent who buys the drum kit, and then goes home.Choose 3Serve ▸§ 31.8Snoozing the alarm nine timesIssues: Serial Snoozing WarningFor the one whose alarm is a suggestion and whose partner’s alarm is not.Choose 3Serve ▸§ 18.1Chewing with your mouth openIssues: Mastication Conduct OrderFor the one whose eating you can hear from the next room. One of the most complained-of habits there is.Choose 3Serve ▸§ 12.7Taking forty-minute showersIssues: Hot Water Depletion NoticeFor the one who leaves the bathroom warm and the tank empty.Choose 3Serve ▸§ 23.3An alarm that wakes everyone but themIssues: Alarm Discipline OrderFor the one whose alarm rings for forty minutes in an empty room.Choose 3Serve ▸§ 36.3Undermining the rules with the grandchildrenIssues: Rule Undermining InjunctionFor the grandparent who returns them at ten at night, full of sugar, delighted.Choose 3Serve ▸§ 36.7The weekend visit that becomes a two weeksIssues: Visit Duration OrderFor the in-laws whose three nights have entered a second week.Choose 3Serve ▸§ 10.6Buying things nobody neededIssues: Discretionary Spending NoticeFor the one who found a bargain on something nobody had thought about until it arrived.Choose 3Serve ▸§ 19.1A package arriving every single dayIssues: Impulse Acquisition WarningFor the one whose delivery driver knows them by name and by first name.Choose 3Serve ▸§ 36.2Unsolicited parenting adviceIssues: Unsolicited Guidance OrderFor the relative who has an opinion on every decision you make about your own child.Choose 3Serve ▸§ 34.1Keeping absolutely everythingIssues: Accumulation Cease and DesistFor the one who cannot throw anything away in case it comes in useful in 2041.Choose 3Serve ▸§ 37.2On their phone all the timeIssues: Undivided Attention OrderFor the one who is in the room and somewhere else at the same time.Choose 3Serve ▸§ 2.2Leaving hair in the drainIssues: Drain Clearance NoticeFor the housemate who leaves the shower looking like a crime scene.Choose 3Serve ▸§ 2.7Not washing their handsIssues: Hand Hygiene OrderFor the colleague you once followed out of the bathroom, and have thought about ever since.Choose 3Serve ▸§ 2.6Farting in front of everyoneIssues: Ambient Emission NoticeFor the one who has stopped apologizing, stopped leaving the room, and started rating them.Choose 3Serve ▸§ 4.2Every light in the house onIssues: Illumination Discipline NoticeFor the one who lights the whole house and then sits in one room of it.Choose 3Serve ▸§ 7.3Taking the last of it and saying nothingIssues: Provision Replacement OrderFor the one who takes the last coffee and puts the empty tin back.Choose 3Serve ▸§ 38.1Never buying the shared essentialsIssues: Contribution Parity OrderFor the roommate who has never once bought the toilet paper or the dish soap.Choose 3Serve ▸§ 16.4Watching ahead without youIssues: Simultaneous Viewing OrderFor the partner who watched three more episodes and then pretended not to have.Choose 3Serve ▸§ 17.1Spending every evening on video gamesIssues: Recreational Excess NoticeFor the one who has been about to save and quit since Tuesday.Choose 3Serve ▸§ 7.8Backseat cookingIssues: Kitchen Interference OrderFor the one who supervises the cooking without ever having done any.Choose 3Serve ▸§ 24.3TV at a volume nobody needsIssues: Broadcast Volume OrderFor the one who watches everything at a volume audible from the yard.Choose 3Serve ▸§ 2.4Cracking knuckles constantlyIssues: Percussive Habit NoticeFor the one who cracks every joint they own, in sequence, all day.Choose 3Serve ▸§ 13.3Full brightness in a dark roomIssues: Screen Luminance OrderFor the one whose screen lights the whole bedroom like a small sun.Choose 3Serve ▸§ 20.3Never bringing anythingIssues: Contribution NoticeFor the friend who arrives at every dinner with nothing but an appetite.Choose 3Serve ▸§ 20.1Turning up unannouncedIssues: Unannounced Visit NoticeFor the relative who considers the doorbell a form of advance warning.Choose 3Serve ▸§ 36.8Rearranging your kitchen while “helping”Issues: Unauthorized Reorganization NoticeFor the relative who washes up and leaves you unable to find anything for a month.Choose 3Serve ▸§ 20.2Never knowing when to leaveIssues: Departure Enforcement OrderFor the guest who is still there an hour after everybody stood up.Choose 3Serve ▸§ 20.4Bringing an unannounced plus-oneIssues: Unregistered Guest OrderFor the guest who brings someone you have never met to a table set for six.Choose 3Serve ▸§ 38.3Treating the living room as their bedroomIssues: Common Area Restoration OrderFor the roommate whose belongings have taken the sofa, the table and the floor.Choose 3Serve ▸§ 38.2Their partner has effectively moved inIssues: Unregistered Occupancy NoticeFor the roommate whose partner is now a fourth tenant paying nothing.Choose 3Serve ▸§ 10.3Requesting three dollars backIssues: Micro-Request Cease and DesistFor the friend who sends a payment request for a coffee. With an emoji.Choose 3Serve ▸§ 19.2Buying things and never returning themIssues: Unreturned Goods NoticeFor the one with four bags by the door, all of them going back, none of them going back.Choose 3Serve ▸§ 27.7Never refilling the tankIssues: Fuel Level NoticeFor the one who returns the car on fumes and says nothing about it.Choose 3Serve ▸§ 30.1Not picking up after the dogIssues: Fouling Removal OrderFor the neighbor whose dog has never once been followed with a bag.Choose 3Serve ▸§ 2.10Sniffing instead of using a tissueIssues: Tissue Deployment NoticeFor the one who has sniffed every forty seconds since November.Choose 3Serve ▸§ 12.3Taking calls from the toiletIssues: Call Location OrderFor the one whose colleagues have all heard a flush mid-sentence.Choose 3Serve ▸§ 4.3Leaving the water runningIssues: Water Discipline OrderFor the one who brushes their teeth with the water running the entire time.Choose 3Serve ▸§ 2.5Picking their nose in companyIssues: Nasal Conduct OrderFor the one who thinks nobody can see them at a red light. Everybody can see them.Choose 3Serve ▸§ 7.4Putting the empty carton backIssues: Container Return OrderFor the one who leaves a milliliter in it so it does not count as finished.Choose 3Serve ▸§ 5.3Borrowing and not returningIssues: Unreturned Property DemandFor the one who has your charger, your book, and no memory of either.Choose 3Serve ▸§ 9.7Leaving wet towels on the bedIssues: Wet Towel OrderFor the one who dries themselves and then the mattress.Choose 3Serve ▸§ 7.1Leaving the microwave explodedIssues: Communal Appliance OrderFor the one who reheats a curry with no lid and walks away.Choose 3Serve ▸§ 34.2Keeping every takeout containerIssues: Vessel Retention OrderFor the household whose entire cabinet is empty plastic tubs, and one lid.Choose 3Serve ▸§ 7.5Never throwing anything out of the fridgeIssues: Perishables Removal OrderFor the household whose fridge contains something nobody will open.Choose 3Serve ▸§ 19.3Never sticking to the groceries listIssues: Provisioning Discipline OrderFor the one sent for milk who returns with everything except milk.Choose 3Serve ▸§ 10.1Never paying back small amountsIssues: Outstanding Balance NoticeFor the friend who owes you eleven dollars from March and does not know it.Choose 3Serve ▸§ 16.3Talking through the filmIssues: Broadcast Interference OrderFor the one who asks who that is, every time, during the line that explains who that is.Choose 3Serve ▸§ 13.1Phone permanently at three percentIssues: Charge Level CitationFor the one whose phone dies at the exact moment it is needed, every time.Choose 3Serve ▸§ 25.1The repair that never happensIssues: Deferred Repair NoticeFor the one who has been going to fix it since a previous government.Choose 3Serve ▸§ 25.2Half-finished projects everywhereIssues: Incomplete Works OrderFor the one whose house has three rooms at ninety percent and none at a hundred.Choose 3Serve ▸§ 2.3Wearing outdoor shoes insideIssues: Footwear Removal OrderFor the guest who walks the entire street through your house.Choose 3Serve ▸§ 38.5Passive-aggressive notesIssues: Direct Communication OrderFor the roommate who leaves notes on the fridge instead of saying anything.Choose 3Serve ▸§ 13.5Never muting on callsIssues: Microphone Discipline OrderFor the colleague whose every call includes their kitchen, their dog and their breathing.Choose 3Serve ▸§ 13.4Typing with the clicks onIssues: Keyboard Acoustics NoticeFor the one whose phone clicks for every single letter, in a silent room.Choose 3Serve ▸§ 13.2Watching videos without headphonesIssues: Headphone Enforcement OrderFor the one who watches nine-second videos on speaker, on a train, at volume.Choose 3Serve ▸§ 15.4Playing music out loud in publicIssues: Ambient Audio InjunctionFor the one who has decided the whole bus should hear their playlist.Choose 3Serve ▸§ 38.4Coming home loudly at 3amIssues: Nocturnal Tenancy OrderFor the roommate whose arrival home wakes the entire building.Choose 3Serve ▸§ 30.6Bass through the wallIssues: Structural Bass InjunctionFor the neighbor whose music you cannot hear, only feel.Choose 3Serve ▸§ 8.3Leaving a barking dog aloneIssues: Sustained Barking InjunctionFor the neighbor whose dog barks for six hours a day and is never there to hear it.Choose 3Serve ▸§ 30.3Power tools at seven in the morningIssues: Dawn Machinery InjunctionFor the neighbor who believes a leaf blower is a reasonable way to greet a Saturday.Choose 3Serve ▸§ 30.2Leaving the trash cans out all weekIssues: Refuse Presentation CitationFor the household whose trash can has taken up permanent residence on the curb.Choose 3Serve ▸§ 30.9Cluttering the shared hallwayIssues: Communal Space Clearance OrderFor the neighbor who treats the shared hall as an extension of their apartment.Choose 3Serve ▸§ 30.4Never taking in a packageIssues: Package Custody NoticeFor the neighbor who is always in, and never in when a package needs signing for.Choose 3Serve ▸§ 30.7Letting the hedge grow overIssues: Boundary Growth OrderFor the neighbor whose hedge has quietly annexed a third of your yard.Choose 3Serve ▸§ 35.2Never being the one to go homeIssues: Departure NoticeFor the friend who has never once left a party before it ended, or after.Choose 3Serve ▸§ 25.3Never changing the bulbIssues: Illumination Restoration NoticeFor the household that has lived by the light of one working bulb since spring.Choose 3Serve ▸§ 2.11Burping at the tableIssues: Table Conduct OrderFor the one who does it at volume and then looks around for a reaction.Choose 3Serve ▸§ 2.12Coughing without coveringIssues: Containment NoticeFor the one who coughs into the open air of a room containing other people.Choose 3Serve ▸§ 2.1Clipping nails in shared roomsIssues: Grooming Location OrderFor the one who does that on the sofa. In front of people. With a sound.Choose 3Serve ▸
1–10 of 79

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