Final Notice
In the matter of Conversation Conducted Within the Personal Boundary
OffenseTalking far too closeSeverityStep 2 of 3 · Final Notice
In the matter of
Marcus
Respondent · hereinafter “the Occupant”
v.
Upon complaint of
Sarah
Complainant · a member of the household
You are hereby notified that the above-named Respondent has been found, upon evidence gathered over a period of considerable patience, to be in breach of the following provisions:
- § 2.9aConversation within the boundary. Speaking at a distance no conversation requires.
- § 2.9bThe pursued retreat. Advancing to close the gap each time it is opened.
- § 2.9cCoffee identification. Making the previous hour of your morning a matter of public record.
- § 2.9dGarlic aggravation. Selecting a lunch that extends the offense into the afternoon.
- § 2.9eThe cornered listener. Conducting the above against a wall, a desk or a kitchen counter.
It is therefore ordered that the Respondent stand an arm’s length away and stay there, effective immediately. This is a final notice. No further warnings will be issued. Compliance will be monitored. There is no appeals process, and there is no one to appeal to.
This notice is a gift and carries no legal force whatsoever. It is, however, extremely accurate.
detach and keep
Redemption stub · file BRE-6772
Marcus
Scan to respond. You may plead guilty, appeal, or refuse to acknowledge this notice. Your response is recorded and forwarded to the complainant.
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