Notice of Warning
In the matter of Obstruction at a Point of Egress
In the matter of
Marcus
Respondent · hereinafter “the Occupant”
v.
Upon complaint of
Sarah
Complainant · a member of the household
You are hereby notified that the above-named Respondent has been found, upon evidence gathered over a period of considerable patience, to be in breach of the following provisions:
- § 15.2aObstruction at egress. Halting at the exact point where stopping is least possible for others.
- § 15.2bOrientation in place. Consulting a map or a phone at the mouth of a moving stairway.
- § 15.2cThe standing conference. Convening a group discussion at the head of the escalator.
- § 15.2dLeft-side occupation. Standing on the side reserved, by long convention, for walking.
- § 15.2eLuggage deployment. Arranging cases so that the walking side ceases to exist.
It is therefore ordered that the Respondent keep walking for four paces after the escalator ends, effective immediately. You are advised that continued conduct of this nature will be escalated. Compliance will be monitored. There is no appeals process, and there is no one to appeal to.
This notice is a gift and carries no legal force whatsoever. It is, however, extremely accurate. Not medical advice — but do get up.
detach and keep
Redemption stub · file ESC-8810
Marcus
Scan to respond. You may plead guilty, appeal, or refuse to acknowledge this notice. Your response is recorded and forwarded to the complainant.
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VOID00