Seat Occupation Order

For the passenger whose bag has its own ticket, apparently. Choose 5 charges from 9, or write your own.

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Seat Occupation Order · two documents · 5 charges you choose + the serving script
Bureau of Public Conduct
Notice of Warning
In the matter of Occupation Exceeding One Seat
File SEA-9340Issued AUGUST 23, 2026Served under youvebeenserved.shop
In the matter of
Marcus
Respondent · hereinafter “the Occupant”
v.
Upon complaint of
Sarah
Complainant · a member of the household

You are hereby notified that the above-named Respondent has been found, upon evidence gathered over a period of considerable patience, to be in breach of the following provisions:

  1. § 15.3a
    Occupation exceeding one seat. Occupying a second seat with property while people stand.
  2. § 15.3b
    Postural expansion. Adopting a posture requiring the width of two fare-paying passengers.
  3. § 15.3c
    The averted gaze. Avoiding eye contact for the specific purpose of avoiding the request.
  4. § 15.3d
    Feigned sleep. Simulating unconsciousness at the moment the carriage fills.
  5. § 15.3e
    Coat deployment. Arranging a garment across a seat to imply an occupant.

It is therefore ordered that the Respondent occupy one seat and place the bag on your lap or the floor, effective immediately. You are advised that continued conduct of this nature will be escalated. Compliance will be monitored. There is no appeals process, and there is no one to appeal to.

Response required

The Respondent is required to answer this notice. Detach the stub below and scan it; you may plead guilty, plead not guilty and appeal, or refuse to acknowledge the notice. Your answer is recorded and forwarded to the complainant.

OffenseSpreading across two seatsSeverityStep 1 of 3 · Notice of Warning
Signed, the complainant
Sarah
Witness to service
print name
This notice is a gift and carries no legal force whatsoever. It is, however, extremely accurate. Not medical advice — but do get up.
detach and keep
Redemption stub · file SEA-9340
Marcus

Scan to respond. You may plead guilty, appeal, or refuse to acknowledge this notice. Your response is recorded and forwarded to the complainant.

https://www.youvebeenserved.shop
VOID00
Also included · the serving script

The words to say while you hand it over.

“Serve it while standing over them, which you will be.”

  • The exact lines to read aloud, in order
  • Stage directions — where to stand, when to pause
  • Best performed to an audience. Film it.

They are probably guilty of something else too

§ 15.5FaceTiming on speaker in publicPublic Video Call Order§ 15.1Jumping the queueQueue Integrity Order§ 15.2Stopping dead at the topEscalator Egress Notice§ 15.4Playing music out loud in publicAmbient Audio Injunction