Appliance Closure Notice

For the one who opens the fridge and considers their life inside it. Choose 5 charges from 9, or write your own.

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Appliance Closure Notice · two documents · 5 charges you choose + the serving script
Bureau of Kitchen Standards
Notice of Warning
In the matter of Prolonged Opening of a Cooled Appliance
File FRI-4023Issued AUGUST 23, 2026Served under youvebeenserved.shop
OffenseStanding with the fridge door openSeverityStep 1 of 3 · Notice of Warning
In the matter of
Marcus
Respondent · hereinafter “the Occupant”
v.
Upon complaint of
Sarah
Complainant · a member of the household

You are hereby notified that the above-named Respondent has been found, upon evidence gathered over a period of considerable patience, to be in breach of the following provisions:

  1. § 7.7a
    Prolonged opening. Holding a cooled appliance open for a period unrelated to any retrieval.
  2. § 7.7b
    Speculative inspection. Opening the door with no item in mind and none subsequently taken.
  3. § 7.7c
    The repeated visit. Returning within four minutes on the hope the contents have changed.
  4. § 7.7d
    Freezer extension. Applying the identical practice to the compartment where it matters more.
  5. § 7.7e
    Door-ajar disregard. Failing to notice a door that has not closed, until the alarm.

It is therefore ordered that the Respondent decide first, then open it, effective immediately. You are advised that continued conduct of this nature will be escalated. Compliance will be monitored. There is no appeals process, and there is no one to appeal to.

Response required

The Respondent is required to answer this notice. Detach the stub below and scan it; you may plead guilty, plead not guilty and appeal, or refuse to acknowledge the notice. Your answer is recorded and forwarded to the complainant.

Signed, the complainant
Sarah
Witness to service
print name
This notice is a gift and carries no legal force whatsoever. It is, however, extremely accurate.
detach and keep
Redemption stub · file FRI-4023
Marcus

Scan to respond. You may plead guilty, appeal, or refuse to acknowledge this notice. Your response is recorded and forwarded to the complainant.

https://www.youvebeenserved.shop
VOID00
Also included · the serving script

The words to say while you hand it over.

Serve it while the door is open, which it is.

  • The exact lines to read aloud, in order
  • Stage directions — where to stand, when to pause
  • Best performed to an audience. Film it.