For someone guilty of the repair that never happens

Deferred Repair Notice

For the one who has been going to fix it since a previous government. Choose 3 charges from 9, or write your own.

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Bureau of Domestic Maintenance
Notice of Warning
In the matter of Indefinite Deferral of an Undertaken Repair
File ILL-7491Issued SEPTEMBER 18, 2026Served under youvebeenserved.shop
OffenseThe repair that never happensSeverityStep 1 of 3 · Notice of Warning
In the matter of
Marcus
Respondent · hereinafter “the Occupant”
v.
Upon complaint of
Sarah
Complainant · a member of the household

You are hereby notified that the above-named Respondent has been found, upon evidence gathered over a period of considerable patience, to be in breach of the following provisions:

Provisions breached
  1. § 25.1a
    Indefinite deferral. Undertaking a repair and not commencing it within any measurable period.
  2. § 25.1b
    Exclusive claim. Preventing others from addressing it on the basis that it is yours to do.
  3. § 25.1c
    The purchased part. Acquiring the necessary component and storing it, unopened, for a year.

It is therefore ordered that the Respondent complete the repair, or cease claiming it and let somebody else, effective immediately. You are advised that continued conduct of this nature will be escalated.

Compliance will be monitored. There is no appeals process, and there is no one to appeal to.

Response required

The Respondent is required to answer. Detach the stub below and scan the code. Your answer is recorded and forwarded to the complainant.

Signed, the complainant
Sarah
Witness to service
print name
This notice is a gift and carries no legal force whatsoever. It is, however, extremely accurate.
detach and keep
Redemption stub · file ILL-7491
Marcus
Scan to answer

You are required to respond. Choose one:

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VOID00
Also included · the serving script

The words to say while you hand it over.

“Serve it beside the thing. Point at it first.”

  • The script to read while serving them, in order
  • Stage directions, where to stand, when to pause
  • Best performed to an audience. Film it.

They are probably guilty of something else too

§ 24.3TV at a volume nobody needsBroadcast Volume Order§ 12.1Never replacing the toilet rollReplenishment Order§ 7.6Loading the dishwasher wrongLoading Standards Notice§ 16.5Watching a whole season in one sittingContinuous Viewing Order

Also called diy · repairs · fixing · lazy · jobs