Deferred Repair Notice

For the one who has been going to fix it since a previous government. Choose 5 charges from 9, or write your own.

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Deferred Repair Notice · two documents · 5 charges you choose + the serving script
Bureau of Domestic Maintenance
Final Notice
In the matter of Indefinite Deferral of an Undertaken Repair
File ILL-7491Issued AUGUST 23, 2026Served under youvebeenserved.shop
In the matter of
Marcus
Respondent · hereinafter “the Occupant”
v.
Upon complaint of
Sarah
Complainant · a member of the household

You are hereby notified that the above-named Respondent has been found, upon evidence gathered over a period of considerable patience, to be in breach of the following provisions:

  1. § 25.1a
    Indefinite deferral. Undertaking a repair and not commencing it within any measurable period.
  2. § 25.1b
    Exclusive claim. Preventing others from addressing it on the basis that it is yours to do.
  3. § 25.1c
    The purchased part. Acquiring the necessary component and storing it, unopened, for a year.
  4. § 25.1d
    Weekend selection. Nominating a weekend, repeatedly, and using none of them.
  5. § 25.1e
    Temporary measure permanence. Applying tape as an interim solution now entering its second year.

It is therefore ordered that the Respondent complete the repair, or cease claiming it and let somebody else, effective immediately. This is a final notice. No further warnings will be issued. Compliance will be monitored. There is no appeals process, and there is no one to appeal to.

Response required

The Respondent is required to answer this notice. Detach the stub below and scan it; you may plead guilty, plead not guilty and appeal, or refuse to acknowledge the notice. Your answer is recorded and forwarded to the complainant.

OffenseThe repair that never happensSeverityStep 2 of 3 · Final Notice
Signed, the complainant
Sarah
Witness to service
print name
This notice is a gift and carries no legal force whatsoever. It is, however, extremely accurate. Not medical advice — but do get up.
detach and keep
Redemption stub · file ILL-7491
Marcus

Scan to respond. You may plead guilty, appeal, or refuse to acknowledge this notice. Your response is recorded and forwarded to the complainant.

https://www.youvebeenserved.shop
VOID00
Also included · the serving script

The words to say while you hand it over.

“Serve it beside the thing. Point at it first.”

  • The exact lines to read aloud, in order
  • Stage directions — where to stand, when to pause
  • Best performed to an audience. Film it.

They are probably guilty of something else too

§ 24.3TV at a volume nobody needsBroadcast Volume Order§ 12.1Never replacing the toilet rollReplenishment Order§ 18.1Chewing with your mouth openMastication Conduct Order§ 4.2Every light in the house onIllumination Discipline Notice