Athletic Narration Warning

For the friend whose training block has become the only subject available. Choose 5 charges from 9, or write your own.

Back to the catalog
Athletic Narration Warning · two documents · 5 charges you choose + the serving script
Bureau of Recreation and Athletics
Notice of Warning
In the matter of Unsolicited Reporting of Athletic Activity
File MAR-9370Issued AUGUST 23, 2026Served under youvebeenserved.shop
In the matter of
Marcus
Respondent · hereinafter “the Occupant”
v.
Upon complaint of
Sarah
Complainant · a member of the household

You are hereby notified that the above-named Respondent has been found, upon evidence gathered over a period of considerable patience, to be in breach of the following provisions:

  1. § 28.4a
    Unsolicited reporting. Introducing the subject to a conversation that had not approached it.
  2. § 28.4b
    Split-time recitation. Delivering per-kilometre data to an audience with no basis for evaluating it.
  3. § 28.4c
    Dietary annexation. Converting a shared meal into a discussion of your fuelling strategy.
  4. § 28.4d
    The visible watch. Consulting a device mid-conversation and reporting the reading aloud.
  5. § 28.4e
    Recruitment. Suggesting, repeatedly, that the listener should also do one.

It is therefore ordered that the Respondent mention it when asked, and not otherwise, effective immediately. You are advised that continued conduct of this nature will be escalated. Compliance will be monitored. There is no appeals process, and there is no one to appeal to.

Response required

The Respondent is required to answer this notice. Detach the stub below and scan it; you may plead guilty, plead not guilty and appeal, or refuse to acknowledge the notice. Your answer is recorded and forwarded to the complainant.

OffenseTalking about their marathonSeverityStep 1 of 3 · Notice of Warning
Signed, the complainant
Sarah
Witness to service
print name
This notice is a gift and carries no legal force whatsoever. It is, however, extremely accurate. Not medical advice — but do get up.
detach and keep
Redemption stub · file MAR-9370
Marcus

Scan to respond. You may plead guilty, appeal, or refuse to acknowledge this notice. Your response is recorded and forwarded to the complainant.

https://www.youvebeenserved.shop
VOID00
Also included · the serving script

The words to say while you hand it over.

“Serve it during the split times. There will be split times.”

  • The exact lines to read aloud, in order
  • Stage directions — where to stand, when to pause
  • Best performed to an audience. Film it.

They are probably guilty of something else too

§ 31.2Being late to everythingChronic Lateness Warning§ 18.1Chewing with your mouth openMastication Conduct Order§ 14.1Interrupting constantlyInterruption Cease and Desist§ 21.1One-word repliesMinimum Reply Order