Nocturnal Tenancy Order

You are hereby notified that the above-named Respondent has been found, upon evidence gathered over a period of considerable patience, to be in breach of the following provisions:

1. § 38.4a
   Return at an unreasonable volume. Entering a sleeping household at a volume audible from every room.
2. § 38.4b
   The doorstep conversation. Concluding an evening at length, outside, beneath a bedroom window.
3. § 38.4c
   Kitchen operation. Preparing food at three in the morning using every hard surface available.
4. § 38.4d
   Unannounced company. Returning with additional people who had not been mentioned.
5. § 38.4e
   Music restoration. Reactivating audio in a house in which everybody had gone to bed.

It is therefore ordered that the Respondent come in quietly, and take the conversation inside your own room, effective immediately. This is a final notice. No further warnings will be issued. Compliance will be monitored. There is no appeals process, and there is no one to appeal to.