You are hereby notified that the above-named Respondent has been found, upon evidence gathered over a period of considerable patience, to be in breach of the following provisions:
- § 2.8aFailure to rotate. Presenting in the same garment across consecutive days without washing.
- § 2.8bThe sniff test. Determining fitness for wear by a method that has never once failed.
- § 2.8cAiring as laundering. Hanging an item on a door and considering the matter resolved.
- § 2.8dThe chair. Maintaining a category of clothing that is neither clean nor in the wash.
- § 2.8eSock economy. Extending the practice to the one garment where it is least survivable.
It is therefore ordered that the Respondent rotate garments daily and wash them within the week, effective immediately. You are advised that continued conduct of this nature will be escalated. Compliance will be monitored. There is no appeals process, and there is no one to appeal to.
Scan to respond. You may plead guilty, appeal, or refuse to acknowledge this notice. Your response is recorded and forwarded to the complainant.