Match Commentary Injunction

For the one who explains the offside rule during the goal. Choose 5 charges from 9, or write your own.

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Match Commentary Injunction · two documents · 5 charges you choose + the serving script
Commission on Narrative Integrity
Notice of Warning
In the matter of Provision of Unnecessary Commentary
File SPO-2423Issued AUGUST 23, 2026Served under youvebeenserved.shop
OffenseTalking over the matchSeverityStep 1 of 3 · Notice of Warning
In the matter of
Marcus
Respondent · hereinafter “the Occupant”
v.
Upon complaint of
Sarah
Complainant · a member of the household

You are hereby notified that the above-named Respondent has been found, upon evidence gathered over a period of considerable patience, to be in breach of the following provisions:

  1. § 16.5a
    Unnecessary commentary. Supplying analysis alongside the commentary already being broadcast.
  2. § 16.5b
    Rule explanation. Explaining a rule during the incident it applies to.
  3. § 16.5c
    The predicted outcome. Announcing what is about to happen, correctly, ruining it.
  4. § 16.5d
    Second-screen relay. Reading a live score from a phone ahead of the broadcast delay.
  5. § 16.5e
    Managerial critique. Delivering a substitution policy to a room that cannot implement it.

It is therefore ordered that the Respondent save the analysis for half time, effective immediately. You are advised that continued conduct of this nature will be escalated. Compliance will be monitored. There is no appeals process, and there is no one to appeal to.

Response required

The Respondent is required to answer this notice. Detach the stub below and scan it; you may plead guilty, plead not guilty and appeal, or refuse to acknowledge the notice. Your answer is recorded and forwarded to the complainant.

Signed, the complainant
Sarah
Witness to service
print name
This notice is a gift and carries no legal force whatsoever. It is, however, extremely accurate.
detach and keep
Redemption stub · file SPO-2423
Marcus

Scan to respond. You may plead guilty, appeal, or refuse to acknowledge this notice. Your response is recorded and forwarded to the complainant.

https://www.youvebeenserved.shop
VOID00
Also included · the serving script

The words to say while you hand it over.

“Serve it at half time. You will have to wait.”

  • The exact lines to read aloud, in order
  • Stage directions — where to stand, when to pause
  • Best performed to an audience. Film it.

They are probably guilty of something else too

§ 18.1Chewing with your mouth openMastication Conduct Order§ 16.4Watching ahead without youSimultaneous Viewing Order§ 20.2Never knowing when to leaveDeparture Enforcement Order§ 16.3Talking through the filmBroadcast Interference Order