Journey Estimation Order

For the one for whom everywhere is twenty minutes away, and never is. Choose 5 charges from 9, or write your own.

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Journey Estimation Order · two documents · 5 charges you choose + the serving script
Office of Punctuality and Scheduling
Notice of Warning
In the matter of Systematic Underestimation of Duration
File TRA-6716Issued AUGUST 23, 2026Served under youvebeenserved.shop
OffenseChronic optimism about journey timesSeverityStep 1 of 3 · Notice of Warning
In the matter of
Marcus
Respondent · hereinafter “the Occupant”
v.
Upon complaint of
Sarah
Complainant · a member of the household

You are hereby notified that the above-named Respondent has been found, upon evidence gathered over a period of considerable patience, to be in breach of the following provisions:

  1. § 31.1a
    Systematic underestimation. Producing estimates that no journey has ever matched.
  2. § 31.1b
    Traffic exclusion. Costing a route at a speed available only at four in the morning.
  3. § 31.1c
    The forgotten parking. Omitting from the estimate the fifteen minutes of finding somewhere.
  4. § 31.1d
    Optimism under evidence. Repeating a figure disproved on each of the last nine occasions.
  5. § 31.1e
    Departure compression. Assuming a household can leave the house in four minutes.

It is therefore ordered that the Respondent add half again to every estimate before saying it aloud, effective immediately. You are advised that continued conduct of this nature will be escalated. Compliance will be monitored. There is no appeals process, and there is no one to appeal to.

Response required

The Respondent is required to answer this notice. Detach the stub below and scan it; you may plead guilty, plead not guilty and appeal, or refuse to acknowledge the notice. Your answer is recorded and forwarded to the complainant.

Signed, the complainant
Sarah
Witness to service
print name
This notice is a gift and carries no legal force whatsoever. It is, however, extremely accurate.
detach and keep
Redemption stub · file TRA-6716
Marcus

Scan to respond. You may plead guilty, appeal, or refuse to acknowledge this notice. Your response is recorded and forwarded to the complainant.

https://www.youvebeenserved.shop
VOID00
Also included · the serving script

The words to say while you hand it over.

“Serve it in the car, at the point the estimate has already elapsed.”

  • The exact lines to read aloud, in order
  • Stage directions — where to stand, when to pause
  • Best performed to an audience. Film it.

They are probably guilty of something else too

§ 27.2Texting while drivingHandheld Device Injunction§ 27.6Driving too close behindFollowing Distance Order§ 27.4Refusing to let anyone mergeMerge Courtesy Notice§ 27.3Sitting in the passing laneLane Discipline Order