For someone guilty of asking when you are having children

Reproductive Enquiry Cease and Desist

For the relative who has asked at every single gathering since the wedding. Choose 3 charges from 9, or write your own.

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The notice and the serving script, delivered instantly. Print it, or send the link.
Office of Extended Family Relations
Notice of Warning
In the matter of Persistent Enquiry Into Family Planning
File WHE-2803Issued SEPTEMBER 18, 2026Served under youvebeenserved.shop
OffenseAsking when you are having childrenSeverityStep 1 of 3 · Notice of Warning
In the matter of
Marcus
Respondent · hereinafter “the Occupant”
v.
Upon complaint of
Sarah
Complainant · a member of the household

You are hereby notified that the above-named Respondent has been found, upon evidence gathered over a period of considerable patience, to be in breach of the following provisions:

Provisions breached
  1. § 36.1a
    Persistent enquiry. Raising the subject at every gathering, without exception, for years.
  2. § 36.1b
    The public setting. Selecting a full table rather than any of the private moments available.
  3. § 36.1c
    Assumed schedule. Proceeding as though a schedule exists and is merely being withheld.

It is therefore ordered that the Respondent never ask again, and do not ask anybody else on our behalf, effective immediately. You are advised that continued conduct of this nature will be escalated.

Compliance will be monitored. There is no appeals process, and there is no one to appeal to.

Response required

The Respondent is required to answer. Detach the stub below and scan the code. Your answer is recorded and forwarded to the complainant.

Signed, the complainant
Sarah
Witness to service
print name
This notice is a gift and carries no legal force whatsoever. It is, however, extremely accurate. Not your business, that is rather the point.
detach and keep
Redemption stub · file WHE-2803
Marcus
Scan to answer

You are required to respond. Choose one:

No camera? Go to youvebeenserved.shop

VOID00
Also included · the serving script

The words to say while you hand it over.

“Serve it before pudding, which is when it usually starts.”

  • The script to read while serving them, in order
  • Stage directions, where to stand, when to pause
  • Best performed to an audience. Film it.

They are probably guilty of something else too

§ 36.6Comparing you to your siblingComparative Assessment Notice§ 36.9Posting photos of your children onlineJuvenile Image Publication Order§ 36.4Commenting on your appearancePersonal Remarks Order§ 2.11Burping at the tableTable Conduct Order

Also called inlaws · in · laws · mother · father · babies · grandchildren · nosy