For someone guilty of backseat cooking

Kitchen Interference Order

For the one who supervises the cooking without ever having done any. Choose 3 charges from 9, or write your own.

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The notice and the serving script, delivered instantly. Print it, or send the link.
Bureau of Kitchen Standards
Notice of Warning
In the matter of Direction of a Kitchen You Are Not Working In
File BAC-8120Issued SEPTEMBER 18, 2026Served under youvebeenserved.shop
OffenseBackseat cookingSeverityStep 1 of 3 · Notice of Warning
In the matter of
Marcus
Respondent · hereinafter “the Occupant”
v.
Upon complaint of
Sarah
Complainant · a member of the household

You are hereby notified that the above-named Respondent has been found, upon evidence gathered over a period of considerable patience, to be in breach of the following provisions:

Provisions breached
  1. § 7.8a
    Direction without participation. Instructing a cook while contributing no part of the labor.
  2. § 7.8b
    Heat adjudication. Adjusting a stove belonging to somebody else’s process.
  3. § 7.8c
    The premature verdict. Assessing a dish at a stage before it could be assessed.

It is therefore ordered that the Respondent cook it yourself or say nothing until it is served, effective immediately. You are advised that continued conduct of this nature will be escalated.

Compliance will be monitored. There is no appeals process, and there is no one to appeal to.

Response required

The Respondent is required to answer. Detach the stub below and scan the code. Your answer is recorded and forwarded to the complainant.

Signed, the complainant
Sarah
Witness to service
print name
This notice is a gift and carries no legal force whatsoever. It is, however, extremely accurate.
detach and keep
Redemption stub · file BAC-8120
Marcus
Scan to answer

You are required to respond. Choose one:

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VOID00
Also included · the serving script

The words to say while you hand it over.

“Serve it at the stove, with a spoon in your other hand.”

  • The script to read while serving them, in order
  • Stage directions, where to stand, when to pause
  • Best performed to an audience. Film it.

They are probably guilty of something else too

§ 12.1Never replacing the toilet rollReplenishment Order§ 7.6Loading the dishwasher wrongLoading Standards Notice§ 16.5Watching a whole season in one sittingContinuous Viewing Order§ 23.3An alarm that wakes everyone but themAlarm Discipline Order

Also called cooking · kitchen · food · interfering