For someone guilty of never sticking to the groceries list

Provisioning Discipline Order

For the one sent for milk who returns with everything except milk. Choose 3 charges from 9, or write your own.

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The notice and the serving script, delivered instantly. Print it, or send the link.
Office of Provisioning and Retail
Notice of Warning
In the matter of Departure from an Agreed List
File BAS-1466Issued SEPTEMBER 18, 2026Served under youvebeenserved.shop
OffenseNever sticking to the groceries listSeverityStep 1 of 3 · Notice of Warning
In the matter of
Marcus
Respondent · hereinafter “the Occupant”
v.
Upon complaint of
Sarah
Complainant · a member of the household

You are hereby notified that the above-named Respondent has been found, upon evidence gathered over a period of considerable patience, to be in breach of the following provisions:

Provisions breached
  1. § 19.3a
    Departure from the list. Returning with items bearing no relation to those requested.
  2. § 19.3b
    The primary omission. Failing to obtain the single item that prompted the journey.
  3. § 19.3c
    Hunger-led selection. Attending the shop in a state known to affect the outcome.

It is therefore ordered that the Respondent buy what is on the list, and only what is on the list, effective immediately. You are advised that continued conduct of this nature will be escalated.

Compliance will be monitored. There is no appeals process, and there is no one to appeal to.

Response required

The Respondent is required to answer. Detach the stub below and scan the code. Your answer is recorded and forwarded to the complainant.

Signed, the complainant
Sarah
Witness to service
print name
This notice is a gift and carries no legal force whatsoever. It is, however, extremely accurate.
detach and keep
Redemption stub · file BAS-1466
Marcus
Scan to answer

You are required to respond. Choose one:

No camera? Go to youvebeenserved.shop

VOID00
Also included · the serving script

The words to say while you hand it over.

“Serve it while unpacking the bags. There will be time.”

  • The script to read while serving them, in order
  • Stage directions, where to stand, when to pause
  • Best performed to an audience. Film it.

They are probably guilty of something else too

§ 12.1Never replacing the toilet rollReplenishment Order§ 7.6Loading the dishwasher wrongLoading Standards Notice§ 16.5Watching a whole season in one sittingContinuous Viewing Order§ 36.10Buying the loudest possible toyAcoustic Gift Injunction

Also called groceries · supermarket · spending