For someone guilty of full brightness in a dark room

Screen Luminance Order

For the one whose screen lights the whole bedroom like a small sun. Choose 3 charges from 9, or write your own.

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The notice and the serving script, delivered instantly. Print it, or send the link.
Office of Devices and Connectivity
Notice of Warning
In the matter of Emission of Light at an Unreasonable Level
File BRI-6773Issued SEPTEMBER 18, 2026Served under youvebeenserved.shop
OffenseFull brightness in a dark roomSeverityStep 1 of 3 · Notice of Warning
In the matter of
Marcus
Respondent · hereinafter “the Occupant”
v.
Upon complaint of
Sarah
Complainant · a member of the household

You are hereby notified that the above-named Respondent has been found, upon evidence gathered over a period of considerable patience, to be in breach of the following provisions:

Provisions breached
  1. § 13.3a
    Emission at an unreasonable level. Operating a screen at full output in a room otherwise dark.
  2. § 13.3b
    Ceiling illumination. Producing sufficient light to render the ceiling visible from across the room.
  3. § 13.3c
    The unadjusted setting. Declining to use a night mode present on the device and enabled by default.

It is therefore ordered that the Respondent reduce brightness to the lowest setting after the lights are off, effective immediately. You are advised that continued conduct of this nature will be escalated.

Compliance will be monitored. There is no appeals process, and there is no one to appeal to.

Response required

The Respondent is required to answer. Detach the stub below and scan the code. Your answer is recorded and forwarded to the complainant.

Signed, the complainant
Sarah
Witness to service
print name
This notice is a gift and carries no legal force whatsoever. It is, however, extremely accurate.
detach and keep
Redemption stub · file BRI-6773
Marcus
Scan to answer

You are required to respond. Choose one:

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VOID00
Also included · the serving script

The words to say while you hand it over.

“Serve it in the dark. They will have plenty of light to read it by.”

  • The script to read while serving them, in order
  • Stage directions, where to stand, when to pause
  • Best performed to an audience. Film it.

They are probably guilty of something else too

§ 12.1Never replacing the toilet rollReplenishment Order§ 7.6Loading the dishwasher wrongLoading Standards Notice§ 16.5Watching a whole season in one sittingContinuous Viewing Order§ 36.10Buying the loudest possible toyAcoustic Gift Injunction

Also called phone · screen · bed · brightness · sleep