For someone guilty of leaving cabinet doors open

Cabinet Door Citation

For the one who opens everything and closes nothing. Choose 3 charges from 9, or write your own.

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The notice and the serving script, delivered instantly. Print it, or send the link.
Department of Kitchen Standards
Notice of Warning
In the matter of Failure to Close Cabinet Doors
File CAB-2183Issued SEPTEMBER 18, 2026Served under youvebeenserved.shop
OffenseLeaving cabinet doors openSeverityStep 1 of 3 · Notice of Warning
In the matter of
Marcus
Respondent · hereinafter “the Occupant”
v.
Upon complaint of
Sarah
Complainant · a member of the household

You are hereby notified that the above-named Respondent has been found, upon evidence gathered over a period of considerable patience, to be in breach of the following provisions:

Provisions breached
  1. § 7.2a
    Failure to close. Removal of an item from a cabinet without any subsequent action of any kind.
  2. § 7.2b
    Creation of a head-height hazard. Maintenance of an open door at the exact altitude of another member of the household.
  3. § 7.2c
    Multiple simultaneous openings. Operation of three doors and one drawer at once, for a single slice of bread.

It is therefore ordered that the Respondent close each door immediately upon removing its contents, effective immediately. You are advised that continued conduct of this nature will be escalated.

Compliance will be monitored. There is no appeals process, and there is no one to appeal to.

Response required

The Respondent is required to answer. Detach the stub below and scan the code. Your answer is recorded and forwarded to the complainant.

Signed, the complainant
Sarah
Witness to service
print name
This notice is a gift and carries no legal force whatsoever. It is, however, extremely accurate.
detach and keep
Redemption stub · file CAB-2183
Marcus
Scan to answer

You are required to respond. Choose one:

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VOID00
Also included · the serving script

The words to say while you hand it over.

“Serve in the kitchen, with at least one door standing open behind them.”

  • The script to read while serving them, in order
  • Stage directions, where to stand, when to pause
  • Best performed to an audience. Film it.

They are probably guilty of something else too

§ 12.1Never replacing the toilet rollReplenishment Order§ 12.4Occupying the bathroom for hoursBathroom Occupancy Order§ 7.6Loading the dishwasher wrongLoading Standards Notice§ 12.9Leaving the seat upToilet Seat Position Order

Also called cabinets · doors · kitchen · messy · annoying