Common Area Restoration Order

You are hereby notified that the above-named Respondent has been found, upon evidence gathered over a period of considerable patience, to be in breach of the following provisions:

1. § 38.3a
   Colonisation of communal space. Establishing personal belongings in rooms belonging to everybody.
2. § 38.3b
   Seating denial. Occupying the sofa with laundry to a depth that prevents its use.
3. § 38.3c
   Table annexation. Converting a dining surface to a desk, a workshop or a wardrobe.
4. § 38.3d
   The migrating plate. Distributing crockery through the house at a rate exceeding its return.
5. § 38.3e
   Television monopoly. Establishing continuous control of a shared screen by simply never leaving.

It is therefore ordered that the Respondent clear your belongings from communal space every night, effective immediately. You are advised that continued conduct of this nature will be escalated. Compliance will be monitored. There is no appeals process, and there is no one to appeal to.